


Amnesia

by saye0036



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Amnesia, Anger, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Love, Love Confessions, Mystery, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-05-23 05:50:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 39,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6106983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saye0036/pseuds/saye0036
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>M survives Skyfall with no memory of her past.  She is kept hidden away by the new M.<br/>James is in a relationship with Madeleine Swann, when a sudden trip north changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Amnesia

**Author's Note:**

  * For [detectivecaz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/detectivecaz/gifts), [Lilibet2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilibet2/gifts), [MaryAnne615](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryAnne615/gifts), [LadyDuchess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDuchess/gifts).



> My brilliant writer friends Detectivecaz and Liz1967 have used the trope of amnesia in several of their stories so I though I would give it a try.
> 
> A special thanks to detectivecaz for the lovely banner also.  
> I hope you enjoy. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amnesia: This is a plot device that I have not used before, but friends of mine (detectivecaz & Liz1967) have and I always enjoyed those stories. This story is about M surviving Skyfall but with no memory of who or what she is.

Pain and a blinding light pierce through my skull. Fuzzy shapes with muted voices modulate in and out. Someone touches me, and I feel a burning sensation on my arm.

She needs... seem... dead. It’s for the...best. Scotland... Kincade. No, not even the children. Definitely not Bond. James needs to focus.

Darkness....

The sounds come faster, this time around and so does the pain in my right hip. A nurse comes and looks me over.

“Oh good, you’re awake Ms. Smith. How are you?”

I try to speak but the words stick in my throat.

“Here drink some water.” The nurse brings a straw to my mouth. The cold liquid soothes my dry throat.

“I will get the doctor now, try and relax." I hear the nurse leave and I wonder, who on earth is Ms. Smith. I don’t remember. What happened to me?

The doctor enters my room and begins doing tests. “I have notified the man who brought you in, Ms. Smith. Can you tell me your full name?

“No...I...don’t remember. Not Smith...at least I don’t think. How long have I been here? Where is here?”

“Oh, dear. Well, I have you down as an Emma Smith. They said to call you Em. You are in Scotland, and you had wood and stone fragments as well as a bullet lodged in your hip. You have been in and out of consciousness for two weeks now.”

“Really?” I ask in surprise. It just seems so strange. Em is the only thing that rings familiar at all.

“You gave everyone a fright. We thought you were dead, but the cold slowed your body functions right down. You are one strong woman with a fierce desire to live.”

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“We will keep you here for another few weeks to ensure that there will be no risk of infection. You will need to undergo physiotherapy to re-strengthen your leg muscles and work that hip.”

“All right.”

“We’ve called your family to come in. They are in London, so it may take some time. Mr. Kincade is on his way now. He’s a friend I assume?”

“I don’t know. Doctor, I’m afraid I don’t remember a thing.”

“Nothing? Names, addresses?”

“No. And certainly not how I managed to get shot.”

“I see. Well, temporary amnesia is not unusual, but we will monitor it. It may take some time, but eventually, your memories should come back to you. I will have a psychologist come and speak to you."

I watch as the doctor leaves me alone once more. I have no idea who this Kincade is, but perhaps he may be able to answer some questions.

 

*****

Weeks pass, and I’m still no closer to regaining my memories. Two men arrive from London and come and speak to me. I can see the concern on their faces as they begin to question me. I become agitated and frustrated that I can't remember. Are they my sons? They both seem desperate for me to know something important. Something that’s lingering along the edges of my subconscious.

Gareth and Bill are concerned, but not as concerned as I am. Kincade comes with them the next day. He’s a kind man who has spent a few hours every day with me over the past weeks. I do not think he’s my husband...he’s not comfortable with me in that way. It’s not that there is no attraction, but there is a distance, like we have not known each other very long.

Kincade’s been discussing things with Gareth and Bill, most of the time they feel I am ignoring them, but I do pay attention. I am still trying to figure out who I am and how I fit into this. They have mentioned family and a James Bond...007? Bill and Gareth can only stay in Scotland a couple of days. I hear them through the door as they discuss me and my state of mind with Kincade. Gareth says that they must avoid unwanted observation.

Why is it that they are not allowing me to see my real family? Unwanted attention from whom? Does this have something to do with the one referred to as 007?

They come back into the room and ask if I would like to stay in Scotland with Kincade. I say yes having nowhere else to go.

Gareth stays behind to speak to me.

“Gareth, where are my family? Why does Bill call you M and then behind the door refer to me as the same? What is the unwanted observation you were talking to Kincade about? You know I don’t remember, but I feel like you are holding something back from me...like my real name.”

Gareth sighs. “I’m sorry M. You were called M, but since the accident, I have taken over your position. We gave you the name Emma Smith, but it’s not your real one. You had a top secret job in the SIS and what you have locked in your forgotten memories could be dangerous. Yes, you do have children and grandchildren, but they all believe you died at Skyfall.”

“Skyfall? Skyfall…” I remember...there’s something familiar...

“M, do you remember something?” Gareth asks excitedly.

“Everything is on the fringes of my awareness but slips away into the nothing. I know that I am not Kincade’s wife. I don’t feel attracted or comfortable in that way with him. I do feel drawn and comfortable with Bill. I thought he could be my son, but now…”

“No, he’s not your son, but you worked closely together for many years. Kincade was with you when you were injured, and you had only just met him. He knows who you are, and it’s safer for you to stay with him. I hope you feel you can trust me in this regard.”

“I do. I know I may eventually remember, but what I want to know is, will I be able to rejoin society or are you going to keep me secluded and away from everyone?”

“M, I...am so very sorry. Your real name is Olivia Mansfield.” Gareth opens his case and reluctantly gives me a file. “This is your personal profile, and this is the only hard copy. You are classified as deceased, but this has all the information you may be looking for.”

I glance at the file and see my image. The image I see in the mirror, but don’t really recall. My age, the names and addresses of my children and grandchildren.

Gareth turns to leave. “Gareth, I mean, M.” I quickly correct myself as I see him stop to turn back towards me.

“Yes.”

“Who is 007?”

“Olivia?”

“I’ve overheard that he is not to know I live, and I want to know why?”

“James Bond, 007 is the agent that was with you and Kincade at Skyfall. He was with you when you died.”

“And why can’t he know?”

“He was, well I should say he is one of our best agents. But he was crushed and unfocused after your death.”

“I see.” I look at the expression on Gareth’s face and perhaps I don’t quite understand. “I wasn’t his mother figure was I?”

“No, but you were very sentimental about him. After you appeared to have died, it became apparent that you were much more to him than just his boss or mother figure.”

“Oh...he feels a strong connection to me? It isn't romantic is it?"

Gareth pauses and sighs. “I’m not sure Olivia. It may have been, and only you know if those feelings are reciprocal on any level.”

“I see. That could be both good and bad I suppose.”

“Yes it could, and we needed Bond’s head in the game. Which is why I decided to keep this from him, for now. Eventually, we can reintroduce you to him, but at this stage of the game, it’s unwise.”

“I hope he doesn’t get angry for the subterfuge. Then again, if we are spies, it would only be logical to expect something like this.”

“Yes, and his anger will fall on me. You do not know him, and I am hopeful that your memories will return, without the familiar surroundings of home. Your children are in the dark, and once you regain your memories, you are free to address that concern. However, it will do no good for anyone, to reintroduce you to them with no memory. Pictures of your family and their children are within this file. I am going to see if Bill or I can dig up any video of you family; their voices may trigger you as well.”

“I understand. I will give it some time but if nothing comes back, then I want to return to London. Perhaps the city itself will heal me.”

“I have made financial and safety measures, to ensure that you will have a peaceful rest and recuperation time at Mr. Kincade’s cottage. Please give it at least six months Olivia, you need that time to heal from your injury. The highlands are lovely and quiet. You will be safe here, I promise.”

“Kincade; he has a connection to Bond?”

“Yes, he was the caretaker of the estate. Skyfall; the one Bond grew up in and was destroyed the night you lost your memories. In a sense, he’s the only father figure James has.”

“So what you’re telling me is, that I’m not quite the mother figure, but I will be living with his father figure. And you are sure James Bond will not find out?”

“James has never been one to visit here. His parents died when he was eleven. Scotland holds too many painful memories, for him to rush back to so soon after loosing you."

*****

Some small amount of my memory returns in tiny waves, but nothing important. How to do things, like cook and use the appropriate tools. Just so I don't feel completely useless during my convalescence.

The doctors says that without any familiar stimuli, I will not retrieve all of my memories. The photos Gareth gave me help some, but they’re nothing more than small glimpses at the edge of my awareness. It’s like hearing a familiar song on the radio. I seem to know the words but it fails to transport me to the time I first heard it. It’s beyond frustrating. I feel I should know so much and I should be able to command my mind to cooperate.

Nothing...damn...stupid nothing!

I’ve been living in Kincade’s cottage for over five months, and gradually things have become comfortable. The only problem being, that Kincade’s beginning to fall for me. I have become close to Kincade, but something is holding me back from returning his affections.

Mallory and Bill call to check up on me, Bill calls daily and Gareth once a week. I continue to ask to return to London. They are very busy with work and advise against it at this time. In a way, I'm a prisoner who cannot be paroled until the current M says yes. Tanner and I joke of it often. I trust Bill, there is something about the man. He would not lie to me. But there is something bad going on, and Bond’s missing. I could hear the concern in Bill's voice when he told me.

Scotland's countryside is beautiful and quiet. I spend a great deal of time walking the highlands with Kincade and the new pups he brought home. He named the two labradors Finn and Sawyer. Kincade teaches me how to shoot properly, with a rifle and handgun. Bill gave him the handgun for us to use. Apparently there is still a threat to my life out there somewhere, so we need to be vigilant.

I’m a very logical and adaptable person I have learned. There have been moments of self-pity and despair. All the losses hidden in my past threaten to come cascading over me, and I dread it. What if my memories hold something I don’t want to remember? How violent, graphic and horrible could they be?

There are days of depressive loneliness where Kincade practically pulls me from my bed. He forces me to go to town and be around people when it happens. I am for all intents and purposes, his girlfriend that now lives with him. Emma Smith formerly of London, former head of MI6, former boss, wife, mother, and bloody well useless now!

I hate that I can’t remember. I hate that I am scared of the memories I have. What if I was horrible? A despot who was cruel and torturous. Kincade and Bill assure me that is not the case, but what if they are skirting the truth?

The physical pain from the bullet wound has lessened but the mental torture of not knowing myself brings me down.

I have some understanding of self, which leads me to believe I must have been a strong woman. Each of them keeps telling me this. I have the overwhelming need to live up to the expectations that Bill and Kincade have for me. Gareth admits to not knowing me long. All hearsay accounts from those who knew me before the incident, say that I was a force of nature.

Tanner has been a wonderful sounding board for all my concerns. He often calls me in the evening to see how I am. He offhandedly mentions Q. It all seems familiar. Another name like James Bond, that I should remember from work.

I am not yet complete. The doctor seems to think I need a trigger and then the memories will flood back. I visit the site of Skyfall often with Kincade. He tells me his version of what happened that night. It must have been terrible. The blood of my attacker, and my own still stains the stone floor of the Kirk.

I’m frustrated. I want this confusion to end. I want my life back, such that it was. At the same time I fear to have it back. Bill and Gareth have told me that there is danger in what I know and there are some that will attempt to kill me for it.

My family is lost to me. I want to remember my parents, aunts, uncles long dead and buried. Do I have a sister? Something, anything of the life I’ve lead. My children, what are they like? My husband, what did he sound like? What of our sex life?

I have no memory of making love to him or any other man. Kincade will gladly correct that if I ask. I've had more than a few incidents with the man that lead me to believe that he would like to make this arrangement permanent. He all but asked me one night after we had too much wine with dinner. Said he would marry me if I wanted too.

Kincade realizes that eventually Bill or Gareth will arrive to take me away. Until then I will enjoy resting in the highlands and try to make sense of the odd dreams I’ve been having.

They only started recently, after one of my walks around what is left of Skyfall. The dreams always consist of the same clear cerulean eyes staring into mine. I often wondered if it could be my husband in the dream? I reach for his face, but I can’t quite manage. The impression I have, during the disjointed time within the dream, are of love and tenderness. Everything shifts suddenly, as dream do. There are orange flashes of dancing flames. I feel overwhelming fear. I’m up against something so very hard and cold...the floor...the hulking giant over me.

This is the dream I usually have just before waking. I wake flushed, panicked and depressed for losing what I should know. By all reports, I had an excellent memory and no signs of dementia. So why the hell can't I remember anything!

*****

Today I helped around the house by cleaning a cupboard for Kincade. I found a box of old pictures within. There are some of an attractive couple and a young boy...could this be the mysterious James Bond?

Some of the next photos are in colour, and I gasp suddenly. Those cerulean blue eyes...the boy’s eyes. James Bond is the man from my dreams.

To be continued…


	2. What Dreams May Come

 

***** 007 *****

I'm so tired but cannot find sleep, I roll over and look at Madeleine. It's been a month since we managed to bring down Spectre. The organization of my former foster brother Franz Oberhauser. The organization that used Silva to kill M.

Q's done the car and now I have a decision to make. Leave and make a life with the beautiful blonde doctor beside me, or go back to work?

Becoming a double-0 agent again, is sure to be a death sentence for this relationship. Madeleine doesn't want to marry an assassin, like her mother did before her. I've been considering asking her for a few weeks, but something is holding me back. Or someone haunting my memories of late. I visited her grave again yesterday, while Madeleine did some errands. Stood in the rain, tracing her engraved name with my fingers as I whisper her real name under my breath. Still to scared to give sturdy voice, to a name that didn't define her in my mind, but that held the magic of a secret that she shared with only a few. Regardless of how I came across that secret, I still hold it as precious to me. I despise when others use her real name so openly now, after the brutality of her untimely demise.

Bill and Eve have been busy with Q and M rebuilding MI6 and MI5. The two agencies will still be sharing space in the same building, after all that happened. At least the government agreed to keep Mallory on as M.

M...my M. What would she have thought about this last mission. I imagine her in place of Mallory challenging C...no it never would have happened. M would never have allowed for it to get that far. She would have struck fear into any government minister who dared to dismantle the institution she reigned over for so long. There would be no question of returning to MI6, had Olivia Mansfield lived. I never would have left.

Christ I miss her. The nightmares continue almost a year later. Her last words to me swirl in my head, making sleep elusive. I'm as troubled, if not more than when Vesper and my parents died. These losses have all been part of my life's journey, to this point. The entire thing, doing battle with Silva and Franz...Blofeld, the bastard who ripped my life apart. He hated me just for my intrusion into his life, all those years ago. At least I managed to save Madeleine. I couldn't save M from Silva but I managed to save someone who loves me.

*****

I must have dozed off...I wake with a start. M's voice whispering in my ear again. Damn it! It always seems so real. Her voice...it stirs me, my heart's pounding in my chest...I'm sweating and significantly aroused...all of me is alert, apparently.

What was she whispering to me? It wasn't what she usually says. I usually wake, depressed as hell when she says; at least I got something right.

I slip out of bed for a shower, not wanting to wake Madeleine yet. My feelings for her are not as intense as the ones I had for Vesper, and her psychology degree should tip her off, eventually. How could it not I can't escape M in sleep or wakefulness. In all honesty, I haven't been able to evade thinking about her since long before she died.

Something is holding me back from falling completely for Madeleine. Maybe it's just her being so young and me becoming a jaded old man. Or maybe it's just me realizing I need the job more. I never expect any relationship to last. The longest female relationship I've ever had was with M.

M will always be the dominating force in my life, and losing her almost killed me. Here I am admitting this to myself, in my new flat, after making love to a beautiful woman 17 years younger. How ironic, a woman more than 20 years older than me, is the only one who I've ever truly loved and she died in my arms.

Become 007 again, or become James Bond the husband? I'm fooling myself to think I want anything more than to get back into the field. Olivia Mansfield gave her life for her job and at the end she was glad I was going to live to carry on that fight. Who am I to let the woman I loved down, after giving up so much? For years, my body, my life and my soul bled for the service and to do her proud.

In this time away, in hiatus I've been lying in a clouded delusion of romance with Madeleine. Doing nothing but pretend to be a happy functional couple. There are too many cracks and they will undoubtedly get bigger and the relationship will leak away.

No one knows this...about my feelings for M...I've only ever admitted it to myself on a few occasions. Madeleine suspects a former love, likely Vesper is the reason my heart is so guarded.

Bloody Franz knew! He called her my beloved M. How did he know? I never had the chance admit that to anyone but myself. I will kill that man the moment I see him again. Those bloody drills of his, failed to remove any of my memories. If they had I would not be questioning marrying Madeleine.

I need to get away, we should get away. I think I will drive up to see the old man. Face Skyfall again, the place my love died and perhaps I can get my thoughts in order. Make a decision to go forward into the great unknown, or go back to the job that defines me.

Kincade has been watching Skyfall. It's all he's ever done. I won't call him, we will surprise him with a visit. I wonder what he will think of Madeleine. Maybe I will ask her to marry me, after I tell her I want to go back to work. If she loves me enough, she will not flee like she tried to before. She will have to decide to be involved in my world, or not. Is it telling that I expect her to leave and that I've been waiting for that since we began?

Probably.

I will go get the car from Q, even if it is 4 am. I can't sleep and the young computer genius has been living in his bunker for quite some time now. He detests the new building. I suppose it's good the young man finally sees the value in something older. I know it was a lesson I learned too bloody late. I leave with my packed bag and leave a note for Madeleine to pack and be ready for a surprise trip north to Scotland.

I leave base in my DB5 as the sun is barely rising. I pick up Madeleine and begin the journey north to face both my past and my future.

***** Olivia-M ******

Months pass and autumn descends towards winter. It's been raining for days and I've been cooped up with Kincade. I'm becoming restless and he knows it.

It's been over a year. My physical hurts have healed, just my mind refuses to recuperate from my near death experience at Skyfall.

"You're gonna leave soon lass, aren't you?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

"It's been building for a while. I'm sorry if I've pressured you at all."

"I'm sorry Kincade, and that is why I should leave. You're a lovely man and I cannot thank you enough for your kindness and care. I cannot remember those I loved, and I need to go home. I do feel strongly about you but..."

"But not that strongly. You forgot the others and you need to have those familiar surroundings of London again."

"Yes. Bill called and the crisis surrounding my death has finally ended. The aftermath is being dealt with now. It appears that it was all the result of a mission I managed to send James on after my death, without me even remembering. All those from the organization that had me killed are gone and put away."

"You remember the lad now?"

"I saw some pictures in your cupboard. I've had dreams...his face appears."

"You and he were close, I could see that straight away."

"I can't remember the reason we even came here. Please tell me. I know you've glossed over many of the details when we visited Skyfall. You never really gave me your impressions on what was going on. I think that sometimes our impressions of an event are often better served by witnessing it from a different angle. Another person's eyes so to speak. My part is yet hidden but surely you knew what was going on at the time."

"James never gave me all the details and I didn't want them. I took one look at you, after he said that there was a man coming to kill you and well...I was going to be involved regardless. No one has ever attacked this land, without some strong resistance. James thought he could fight him off here but all the guns had been sold to a collector."

"I see and why did Silva want to kill me? Do you know?"

"I saw the man. A giant he was. He held you in his arms...he was upset you'd been shot by one of his men. He held you and put a gun to your head but he wanted you to kill the both of you with one bullet. He was crazed say the least."

"I see. That seem rather personal...intimate almost."

"Yes...well. James killed him and then you died. Or so we thought."

"It seemed that way anyway. Bond still doesn't know I live, does he?"

"No and he hates this place. There was never any worry he would find you here. Going back to London is a different story."

"Yes and Bill's been trying to keep me out of the city. I don't think they want me to see him again."

"Perhaps it's for the best lass. The lad was done in by your death."

"Gareth mentioned that when I was in hospital...I was not quite a mother figure to him. What's your opinion of our relationship?"

"I don't think that's an easy question to answer. Was he drawn to you more than any other? I've not been around the lad in 25 years so it's impossible for me to say. What of your children?"

"Bill says to leave them be, but I need my memories back. I cannot think of a reason why I should not reconnect with them, now that the danger has passed?"

"I think you're right but will they let you? I swear there's a car that drives past here daily just to see if we're still here."

I have to laugh at his paranoia. "I think you're right but I don't' think they will force me to stay now that all is said and done."

"You never know with MI6, Emma. They may make you leave and go to France or something to hide you."

"I know French...I was watching a movie the other day and the language came rushing back to me. More and more I think the door of my mind is opening to my past. London is the key. I'm convinced it will be the trigger I need to remember."

"When do you plan on leaving?"

"If you could take me to the train station tomorrow I should be ready by then."

Kincade leans over and kisses me suddenly. "I've been trying to get my nerve up to do that for an age now lass. You know how I feel about you...don't you?"

I manage to nod my head, still reeling from the shock.

"You will always have a home here lass. I have fallen more than a little in love with you. I might have in the very first moment I saw you. You standing near James in the dimness and dust of Skyfall. I looked at you, all composed and proper, and thought what a woman. Then you spent the rest of the day making bombs out of the bloody light fixtures. It was love from those moments on. I had hoped that over the time you've been here with me...we would become closer. I understand that it was not love at first sight for you. A woman like you, widowed and running away north with a younger man."

"Oh Kincade...I'm sure it wasn't that...James and I... could never...would not have..."

"Maybe not what you thought it was? If you ever see the lad again, you will look for the right signs and be brave enough to do something about it. You are a brave lass, I've seen it in the way you force yourself through losing something as important as your memories. You still manage to smile, walk, talk and take on a day. Well most days that is. When you do see James again...he will be angry for the lies they've told him. Be honest with him and don't waste any time if you find that you love that jumped up little shit."

I have to laugh at his description of Bond. The apparently troubled agent I can't recall, yet feel drawn to some how.

"You think...I..love him?"

"Yes I do. It came to me after I saw you staring at his picture. You traced it with your finger. You only do that when you look at the pictures of your husband and children. As if you're desperately trying to implant that image into your mind and remember."

"You saw that did you?"

"Yes I did. I knew I would never land you...I kept hoping. But those memories will return again and you will again be the mighty woman you once were. I know it!"

I hug Kincade and kiss him on the lips. "Thank you for everything Kincade. You have helped me beyond words."

"Dinner's done, let's eat and I will help you make your arrangements to leave."


	3. Some Sort of Homecoming

 

 

 

****** 007 ******

"James why so quiet?"

"Sorry. I guess, going home has always been bittersweet for me."

"When did you last go to Scotland?"

I don't really want to answer. I pause as I overtake some slower cars on our trip north. "A while."

"Why do I not believe you? What's the real story?"

"I battled Silva there."

Madeleine looks at me. "You lost your beloved M...there...at your home?"

I nod. "I needed a remote, computerless area to fight him. In order to draw him away from London."

"You have not mentioned your old M much. Blofeld made a point of mentioning her. I have seen the way you look when Eve or Tanner mention her when I'm present."

"I failed the mission."

"You killed Silva, you completed the mission."

"No, she was the mission."

"James, I'm sorry. You must have loved her a great deal. It's common for an orphan to spend his life looking for the mother he lost." She turns to look at my profile.

I can't bring myself to talk of M with Madeleine, the one I've tried desperately to replace her with. I grip the wheel tighter. This trip is doomed. A pit forms in my stomach as we hurtle ever closer to Scotland.

"James, what is it? What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing."

"Well I for one, don't think it's nothing."

"Look, I don't want to talk about it!"

"James you have to deal with your past, to have a future."

I frown at her obvious psychobabble. "Drop it. I will show you where it happened, and you can bother Kincade for all the details if you want them so badly."

She shakes her head. "James, why won't you tell me? I can accept if you loved the woman. It's natural to love the mature mother figure in your life. She gave you purpose, a job and direction."

"Enough!"

"I see. Fine! Lies...lies...it's all a web of lies! I don't know if I want to see Scotland now." Madeleine pouts.

I can't stop from rolling my eyes at her less than mature attitude. "Just because I don't want to talk about losing M? Maybe you need to grow up!"

"Is that a crack at the age difference James? I am a doctor you know."

"And I am a killer. Age does not hold any interest to me. I love the person not the number on their birth certificate."

"So you loved her…"

"Yes."

"I see."

"I don't think you do. Look we are almost there, can we stop analysing every little thing about my interactions?"

Madeleine smiles as she trails her hand up and down my thigh. "Try to hide what you can, but I will win eventually."

I turn the car down the lane and stop on the hill that looks over the charred remains of Skyfall. My eyes avoid looking at the kirk where M died in my arms. The sun is setting and the darkness creeps up quickly with the overcast sky.

No...no you won't win this Madeleine. I see that now.

Shit!

Why did I decide to come here again?

Why?

I must have wanted everything to go tits up again. That's all that ever happens, in this dreary old place.

Misery.

"So this is where you grew up?"

"Yes. Come on. We will go to the hotel and then go to Kincade's cottage tomorrow morning. A storm's coming."

A cold feeling crawls up from the very ground of this place and surrounds my heart. M and I had the same conversation over a year ago.

*****

**_Belmarsh Prison: Ernst Stavro Blofeld_ **

_Instant Message: We've been watching the chief of staff as ordered. There are daily calls to Scotland. Please advise._

_Go to Scotland. Find out who he's calling, I have my suspicions._

_There's an old woman with white hair. Bond's suddenly on the move north also. I'm sending the photo._

_It's time to come collect me. Send some to get her. Do not harm her in any way. And do not underestimate that woman. She may be old but she is not without her ways. Leave a video message of you taking her for her protector, James Bond to find._

***** Olivia- M *****

**Near Glencoe, Scotland.**

Kincade and I enjoy a cup of tea before he takes me to the train station. Bill's going to pick me up in London and bring me to his flat.  My flat was sold and all the contents taken by my children, or sold. Tanner managed to divert some things to a storage facility knowing that I survived Skyfall.

A sudden knock at the door is a complete surprise. The puppies sleep by the fire and are suddenly stirred to life by the sound. Kincade swings opens the door…

The next few moments happen is a whirl. One man with a gun pushes past Kincade forcing him to his knees.

"Run M!"

I move to the hall and head to the back door and unfortunately directly into the arms of another man. He lifts me off the ground in one fell swoop and carries me back inside.

Kincade now lies on the kitchen floor unconscious, at least I hope he's just unconscious.

"Make the message." The man carrying me says as I struggle against him.

"Let me go! What do you think you're doing!" I say in my most imperialistic and demanding way. It comes out like a command from somewhere deep inside my psyche.

"Grab her bags...so nice of you to get ready for your trip M. Our boss is very excited to meet you." The dark haired one with the spanish lilt says as he places the tablet he had pointed at me and leaves it on the kitchen table.

The puppies yelp and nip at the sandy haired giant that holds me. He kicks them roughly away as they growl and jump on the two attackers. Sawyer and Finn are not yet full grown. The pups are more inclined to believe these men are playing a game of keep away with me, as they yelp and jump on my attackers.

I squirm to no avail. He's a massive man, and not about to let me go. They take me outside to their vehicle. They grabbed my luggage but left my purse...there was a gun and mobile that I could really use about now. How long before Kincade can alert Bill and Gareth? I pray that he's alive to do so.

Sandy...places me in the back of the Range Rover and climbs in with me as the other stuffs my bags in the boot. He then climbs in and begins to drive away.

"Sit still and be a good girl M and I won't have to inject you with this." He holds up a syringe which will either kill me or knock me out for a while. I need to stay conscious, because I want to see where they are taking me. I sit and silently fume as I look out the window and away from my captors.

An absolutely beautiful silver sports car passes us. I can see that there's a beautiful blonde woman in the passenger side. The car seems familiar somehow…

***** 007 *****

We are almost to Glencoe as Madeleine talks of the scenery. She asks all about the old man. I tell her about Kincade and his love of the outdoors. She asks why I never stayed with him, rather than ending up in Switzerland with the Oberhauser's.

"I don't really know. Guardianship was given to my aunt Charmian, but she couldn't handle me. She was a spinster and a rather severe woman. I was sent to boarding school as expected, but then Hannes Oberhauser contacted her and asked if I could spend some time with them. He was distantly related to my mother you see."

"Really? You never mentioned."

"Second cousin of my mother is distant enough not too. Hannes was a good man. He taught me a great deal and then sent me back to Charmian. Back to boarding school once the lessons he had to teach me were done."

We spend the night at Glencoe house, with a plan to get up early to go see Kincade. Our meal is wonderful. The rest of the evening involves even more pleasurable pursuits in our room's large bed and bath. She cannot make the unease I feel disappear. Nothing can take away the feeling I get when I'm so close to the place where my life was destroyed twice. Not the way she smiles or smells, her taste nor the feeling of our bodies joined.

I dress in the morning after my shave and shower with a pit forming in my stomach. Madeleine ensures me that she will help, with what she calls; the overwhelming emotions of this sort of homecoming. Returning home, to where M died and where I was when I learned my parents died. It fills me again, with dread I've felt since we arrived in Scotland.

International terrorist and criminals don't scare me, like this does. This haunted land, where all my youthful joy dissolved, threatens to be my undoing. I place my hands on the sink leaning forward to stare into my own eyes. My mother's eyes.

I sigh as I finish combing my hair and applying cologne.

M.

Christ, I still miss you M. Over a year and the pain has barely passed. When will my heart heal?

Jack the bulldog, still resides in my flat. Arrogant in his defiant display of British fortitude. Scuffed, roughed up and cracked but still in one piece for something so fragile. Jack and I have a lot in common. But you knew that, didn't you M? You knew me better than I know myself. Better than the beautiful Doctor Swann will ever know me.

We pass a Range Rover on our way through the back roads towards the cottage.

When we arrive, I help Madeleine out of the car and hold her arm as we walk to the cottage. The door's ajar and two black labrador pups come bounding out after us. The large pups are jumping and yelping as they run and attack. Madeleine tries to fend them off as I try to calm Kincade's new dogs.

The open door gives me pause, as I climb up the rest of the way to peek inside. I see a man's body lying on the kitchen floor.

"Kincade!" I rush to the man and kneel down beside his prone form. Madeleine flips instantly to doctor mode and begins opening his shirt and checking his vitals.

I watch, but am suddenly caught off guard by the lingering smell of perfume. It's on the air and on Kincade's jacket. The familiar floral smell hits me like a punch to the head and I stand. There's a large handbag on the table as well as a tablet. There is no internet here...why? I touch the screen as see and read the note.

_To: James Bond_

The recording shows a struggling woman in the arms of a very large man, right in this kitchen.

_Let me go! What do you think you're doing!_

"M!" Breaks out of me in an anguished mournful cry.

Madeleine stands and looks down at the tablet in my hands. "Watch him!" I order her as I run for the door. Madeleine calls after me as I race for the car without looking back. I accelerate in the direction of the Range Rover that passed us on the road.

I have never felt so angry and betrayed in my life. Not even Vesper's betrayal dug as deeply into me as this. I feel as though my heart is soaring juxtaposed by the clenching fear that hold it in check. My training saves me. The thrall of the mission becomes my saviour.

They are not going to get away with this. None of them but for now I call Q and start yelling through the speaker.

***** Q *****

**London**

I have to go into the shared offices today to oversee the change to the Q branch section of the building for central intelligence that C made. M doesn't trust any aspect of this building. Since the combination of the agencies under M they have been finding leaks and fixing all the seals so speak.

At least many that were laid off at MI6 were rehired, now that M has taken control. They didn't have a choice. M has them over a barrel, what with how C was tied to Spectre. The government wants to sweep it all under the rug. The press is hounding the agency on what happened the night their old offices went up. Everyone knows it was a day early, a midnight explosion that left a city shocked the next morning.

The home secretary is still undergoing questioning and will have to appear in court for affiliations with C and his crimes. I've been assisting in following the money trail. Many of Spectre's assets in Britain have been seized but the international holdings are harder to locate. Frankly I've had little time to do any investigation.

MI5 was busy blocking us and not allowing any access. MI5 is in complete shake up mode. All the top members are now under investigation and all projects are under government review. Now under the watchful eyes of M and Tanner. Christ, I hope they all end up in jail after all this mess. They can sit in bloody Belmarsh with their illustrious leader Blofeld.

Sleep is the one thing that I, and the rest of MI6 are lacking in. M has not slept in a year. I doubt Tanner and Eve have managed more than 4 hours a night either. Work internationally is taking a big hit, while these internal issues continue. My com buzzes. An incoming call from 007. I wonder what he wants? He's on vacation with his new girlfriend.

_JESUS Q! M IS ALIVE AND SOME MEN CAME TO SCOTLAND TO TAKE HER!_

Q hears the message and dials Tanner and Eve as he answers. "Bond...calm down. What do you mean M is alive? Of course M is alive he's here in London."

Tanner comes bursting in the room with M and Eve following close behind. I look at them and shrug. "Bond claims some men have come to Scotland to take M?"

Tanner's face looks panicked as he yells. "Bond where in hell are you?"

_MADELEINE AND I CAME NORTH TO SEE KINCADE! CARE TO EXPLAIN M!?_

M and Tanner look at each other and I can sense that they're uncomfortable all of a sudden.

I don't know what's going on but I try to calm Bond down. "I can assure you that there has been no contact from our former M from beyond the grave 007."

_Oh really and do Mallory and Tanner look at all uncomfortable right now Q?_

Eve and I look to M and Tanner. "Shit!" I yell as I begin tracing his signal.

_YES...what the hell is going on Tanner? There was a tablet showing two men carrying M, left with a note for me on the kitchen table. Kincade was out cold on the floor when I arrived._

Mallory looks like he's been defeated by an enemy as he looks at Tanner. Reluctantly he finally speaks through to all of us. "Yes she's alive."

_WHY!? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!?_

Eve and I must look as shocked as Bond sounds. Bond sounds like something tore his very soul apart, the anguish evident in his voice. Anger and pain so evident, that it physically affects us all, as we listen to his panicked voice wobble.

"I only did what seemed logical at the time Bond. Olivia Mansfield had vitals once she was brought in from the cold and they managed to save her, despite all odds. She was and still is suffering from amnesia. Tanner and I discussed it and left her in the care of Kincade to keep her safe."

_STELLAR FUCKING JOB YOU DID OF THAT! I passed a black Range Rover as we approached Kincade's. Q use whatever you can to find it!_

"Do it Q!" Mallory says. Tanner looks ashen and Eve looks pissed right off.

"Why did you hide this? How could you do that to Bond and the team? We all fought Silva...we all tried our best to…"

Tanner interrupts Eve quickly running his hand over his brow. "She couldn't remember anything. Not even her name. Bond was a mess! We spent time with her in hospital and made the decision. Kincade offered to take her in, to allow her to heal in peace. We had hoped that with time, she would regain what she had lost."

Bill seems desperate to get them to understand the reasoning behind this. His own personal dread and guilt streaming out of him, just as fast as Bond's anger came through the comms.

"She was to get on a train today to come home. I was going to let her stay in my flat and we hoped London would somehow fix her memory. Bond, she still remembers only a little of her life. We gave her, her file, videos and pictures, anything to help her, but nothing yet."

I work like mad to get satellite images of the area. Hacking the American military satellite and any others I can, to find that car. "Bond airfield 12km west of your mobile's GPS location. It would be easier if you had let me tag your car."

_Not now Q. I'm in no mood. How did this happen? MALLORY? Who has her?_

"I am just getting a call in now Bond." M puts his phone on speaker to allow them all to listen.

_Captain Slater here, M. The prisoner Blofeld has been forcibly removed from Belmarsh prison. We are on security lockdown but a helicopter took the inmate away while we dealt with the fire and contained the riot. I just thought you should get your department on this ASAP. He should he still be in county._

"I will see to this, Tanner you help Bond. Moneypenny you're with me; this is all connected. Blofeld's on the loose and out for revenge."

M leaves the room with Eve and goes to deal with the prison break crisis.

I begin to talk to Bond again. He has been driving silently waiting for the report or too stunned to speak, from learning of Blofeld's escape.

"For what it's worth Bond, I'm sorry. I had no idea. There are no planes in the area but it could be that helicopter containing Blofeld coming to pick her up. When they stay low it's almost impossible to trace them."

_It not you fault Q. I will be having words with Tanner and Mallory once I return with M._

"I don't think that your sudden name change for M will go unnoticed 007. He may become angry with you.

_Frankly Q, I don't give a damn! She is my one and only M and now...now..._

"What Bond? What's happening?"

_Now I will kill that bastard and save my girl._

I've never professed to being the greatest observer of people, and their relationships often confound me. That being said, I suddenly understand that Bond's problems after Skyfall were not just that of a man mourning a boss, or a mother figure. 007 mourned a woman he loved. Maybe in a completeness he has never felt before. It suddenly occurs to me that James Bond is in love with Olivia Mansfield and he likely has been for a very long time.

"I will help in any way I can. The RAF has been alerted by M and they are scrambling jets to find and intercept that helicopter."

_Don't let them shoot her down! Don't let them take her from me again._

"I won't Bond. I never realized...Bond...I missed it. I don't know about the others. But I'm so sorry." I look to Tanner who has a grim look on his face. Tanner knew. He knew that Bond loved her and still kept her hidden away from him.

_She was married...what could I do? How could I convince that stubborn woman...of something, she would believe to be completely absurd? Tanner...you knew._

"Yes. I'm so very sorry. And 007 you are far more capable of proving the impossible than you think. Find her and tell her, even if she can't remember you. At least you'll have a clean slate."

_The problem is, that I have to save her first. Something I would not have had to do, had I known she lived!_

"How can you be so sure?" Tanner asks.

_Because Tanner, I never would have left her side, that's why. I'm coming up on the airfield there is the bloody helicopter…FRANZ!_

"What is it Bond? Bond...Bond! What's happening!" Tanner yells into comms in frustration and dismay.

I cannot express how desperately difficult it is to hear the action concerning friends that could mean their death and not physically be able to help. It has taken me a year and I still don't like the useless feeling I get listening and observing. My only recourse is to shout directions into a microphone.

_Q how far out is the RAF?_

"Five minutes...what do you want them to do? They can't shoot it down with Olivia on board. Can they?" I ask Tanner in a rush. My heart is pounding and I'm frustrated with not being able to help more.

"They bloody well better not! I have go talk to M...now. I just hope that the judgement call doesn't involve killing Olivia Mansfield, to avoid having a terrorist like Blofeld escape."

"Me too, Tanner. Maybe...007 can reach her in time."

"I hope so. For all our sakes."

To be continued...


	4. Captured

 

 

 

***** 007 *****

I still can’t believe they kept this from me!

I’m seething but my brain switches to mission mode immediately. M’s no longer a woman I feel strongly for...she’s the mission.

Just like Skyfall.

I pray the car doesn’t overheat from the stress I’ve put on her the last two days.

I can see the airfield in the distance and the helicopter with a black Range Rover, I press the accelerator to the floor and turn off the road. I see a place in the fence that I can try to ram and burst through. I grit my teeth at the sound of screeching metal scrapping at my classic DB5. I hit the landing strip and accelerate towards the Range Rover that I saw heading away from Kincade’s.

I see the blades of the helicopter still moving. No...no...no...not this time! A large man steps out from behind the Range Rover and starts to shoot in my direction. I pull hit the toggle on the panel and the machine guns roar to life. I obliterate the man and turn towards the helicopter as the blades slow but continue to turn.

Another man comes from the other side of the Range Rover with M in his arms. I slam on the brakes, angling and stopping the car. I hop out holding my gun out towards the dark haired man holding her. Keeping the car between us for the time being. At a quick glance she seems the same. Thinner perhaps but her hair and face are the same, even if her eyes show no signs of recognition.

“STOP!” I hear shouted from the open door of the now quiet helicopter. Franz Oberhauser steps out of the machine with a smirk on his bloody arrogant scarred face.

“James...James...James. So good to see you again. I was just about to get acquainted with the lovely M. I had hoped to do this alone, but it may be fortuitous that you came in time to see us off.”

I’m so angry to see him that I walk around the car exposing myself to Blofeld’s guards. “You’re not bloody well taking her anywhere FRANZ!”

“James...silly...James. I will kill her, or you and neither of that pleases me. I want to get to know M. And you and I...well we caught up when I saw you last. I think...if I remember correctly you blew me and my lair up. You vanished with Madeleine, always disappearing with the lovely ladies aren’t you James. Leaving me to deal with imprisonment all by myself. Not even an antagonistic visit from you. All without us really having a good chat about life, the universe and everything. This time I am taking your lovely lady with me. I know that if I have her...I have power over you and the rest of MI6.”

“You have got to be joking. Give M to me and surrender.”

“No James. I hold all the cards. Put her into the helicopter.” Franz says to his man who pulls a silent observing M into the machine.

“You may come with us James, or you can stay behind with Madeleine and try to have Q branch chase me down. The MI’s are busy rebuilding. I seriously doubt the Prime Minister will be willing to allocate resources to finding the old head of MI6, when he knows her memory is compromised. Besides, her secrets are old secrets. With the narrow mindedness of the government, and in fact the modern world, they see little value in them. I, on the other hand love all things old and knowledgeable. M’s a very attractive woman for her age, is she not?”

“You cannot take her...I will kill you Franz.” I aim my gun as he holds out his hand to signal his man to hold his gun tighter to M’s head. Franz pulls a zip tie out of his jacket pocket and walks slowly towards me.

“I had planned on using this on M if she gave us any trouble. Imagine my surprise to have ‘Emma Smith’s’ medical records emailed to me from a hospital in Scotland. I know that she has amnesia and you do too. Come with us James. It’s the only hope you have to be with your beloved M before you die.”

Franz walks towards me as I stare into the panicked eyes of M in the back of the helicopter. A jet roars over them and another. Franz takes my gun from my hand and ties my hands in place. He grabs my mobile and tosses it on the ground as he pulls me towards the machine.

Franz’s man pull me down to sit beside him. I’m left looking directly at Franz who sits beside M.

“Well we are all in...shall we go?”

The pilot asks about the RAF. Franz chuckles and asks for the radio. “Commander Bond would you do the honours? I think we would all feel better if you prevented us from being shot out of the sky. We will be out of British airspace quickly, I promise.”

“I speak into the radio. The pilot eventually relays the information to Tanner and Q. We take off and head Northeast towards Norway. The pilot flies low to avoid detection but we are followed over the Norwegian Sea for part of it. I hope to hell Q can figure out where Franz is taking them.

Franz tries to reassure M that no harm will come to her. Patting her knee with his left hand, then resting it on her thigh as he purrs into her ear something that I cannot hear.

She has not spoken a word. M stares at me with little to no recognition. Something in me snaps. I surge towards the Bastard who set Silva on her and is still trying to take her away from me. Not this time. Not ever again.

*****Olivia-M *****

The two men take me to a airfield where we are met by a helicopter. Suddenly, the same silver DB5 that I saw earlier crashes through a fence and shoots the sandy haired giant. He had been about to yank me from the backseat when he pulled his weapon out and then a loud noise. The sound of machine gun fire. It stirs a memory...but it was dark...there was a different helicopter blaring loud music.

My head is spinning in panic. What the hell is going on? The Spanish man takes me out of the back. As I exit I see that the silver car has stopped shooting, thankfully. I’ve already had a bullet to the hip and I don’t relish another.

A Blond man with a limp, a horribly scarred face and damaged eye, exits the helicopter and ushers the Spanish one to hold me with his gun against my temple. James Bond jumps out of the DB5 with his gun drawn and a desperate look on his face. Anger, fear and remorse flash across his face as he looks at the two men and then to me.

I remember him from the photos and the memory of those images does no justice to him. Seeing him in person stirs me...in a way...I just can’t describe.

James Bond is undeniably a gorgeous man. Even if he looks angry and about to kill everyone in sight. My god. I think I loved him once. But was I his lover?

His glances betray him too. I have a feeling that we would be better served, if our captor did not know of these feelings. Call it instinct, or perhaps my mind is telling me something, but I know I love the young man in front of me. I need to hide this from the scarred man, of that I’m certain.

They pull James into the helicopter tied up. Franz, as James called him, asked him to come along. Apparently Franz wants to get to know me. Yet he knows I have memory loss, he must expect me to eventually remember everything from my time as M. I know I cannot hide the fact that I am scared. Perhaps in my past I was brave and would have struggled more. I don’t know. All I have are impressions of myself as if in a haze. From what Tanner told me I was very brave.

James stares daggers at Franz and when Franz places his hand on my thigh, James lunges across the cabin until the Spanish man pulls him back, buckling him into the seat. Franz merely told me not to worry the flight would not last long. James searches my face, desperate for recognition. I don’t think that I am the only one with these feelings, but then again, he could just think on me as his mother. No one would like to see their mother manhandled in such a way.

I wonder where he’s taking us but I have yet to actually speak. Something tells me that I should keep silent for as long as possible. Odd memories about guns and helicopters are coming back. Fear...I look across at James Bond and see some of my fear echoed in his gaze. These small triggers are jogging my memories a little bit at a time.

The scarred man I do not know. I don’t think I could forget such a face. There is the face of a giant blond man that comes to me in nightmares on occasion. I told Kincade about my nightmare man and he told me it was likely Silva, the man who had me shot. He tried to kill James also, but James managed to knife him in the back.

Kincade, M and Tanner will be thrilled to know that all that was required, was James Bond and the imminent fear of death, to begin triggering some of my memories.

***** 007 *****

Within ninety minutes we are over the Norwegian Sea and land on a very large yacht. Unfortunately the RAF jets had to cut off surveillance before this rendezvous. The pilot has been flying low from the moment the jets turned back to Britain. They quickly changed direction and headed west, away from what I wrongly presumed was a plane waiting to take us from Norway.

I hope Q doesn’t let me down and can manage to trace us using my smart blood. I knew there was little chance of me shooting everything in sight with M there captive. The only other option was to let him take me too. Thankfully, Franz has never been a man who doesn’t like to show off. He will undoubtable monologue the two of us into boredom about his amazing escape. All the while he’s actually leading MI6 directly into his base of operations.

***** Q *****

Q branch.

I’m following the situation with Mr. Tanner as M comes back into comms.

“Sir the RAF as discontinued chase and the helicopter has veered west. It’s stopped its previous speed.”

“You think they landed on a ship Q?”

“Yes, It’s that or they dumped Bond’s body out the door over the open sea.”

Tanner looks at me in distress. “God I hope not!”

“I don’t think that’s the case Mr. Tanner. Look, the dot representing Bond is now moving again at speeds that denote a ship. They’re headed west towards Iceland.”

“What do we do?” Tanner asks looking at M. M’s frowning and rubbing his temples.

“What can we do? Tanner contact the authorities in Faroe Islands and notify them to be on the lookout. I will get a team ready and a ship to take me.”

“What about the Prime Minister?” Tanner asks.

“Oh I don’t think he would like to go Mr. Tanner. But he has given me carte blanche to do what is necessary to see that Olivia Mansfield is safe and sound. Not left in the hands of cyber terrorist who could eventually gain information from her about MI6. Although, after meeting with Blofeld and speaking with him, I don’t think that’s what he took her for.”

Tanner breathes an obvious sigh of relief for his former boss and mentor. “What do you think he took her for then?”

“Revenge Mr. Tanner, revenge.”

“On Bond?”

“Yes. On all of us really.”

“Just like that bastard Silva.” Tanner says as he pounds the desk with his fist.

I look shocked and say, “but Bond made it to them in time? Now he has them both.”

“Yes, Q and if he hasn’t killed Bond yet, it’s because he’s going to use Olivia against him in some way. And if Olivia regains her memories...he will use Bond against her for his own sick needs. See if you can dig up a money trail of property between Spectre and Iceland or the Faroe Islands. He made towards Norway first, as a distraction but didn’t take Bond’s smart blood into account.”

“Bond will trigger her memories? If you thought that why didn’t we bring her to him sooner?” Tanner says more than a little angry at the situation.

“I needed Bond to decide if he wanted this job enough to do it for someone other than Olivia. I was not one hundred percent sure he could bring her memories back, but I had my suspicions. That is why after this year and all that we have gone through, I was allowing her back to London now. I even readied a safe house for her to use and had the movers go yesterday and unpack her things from storage. It may not be the same flat, but there are familiar things for her to be around.”

Tanner frowns. “I’m sorry for snapping. It just seems like we were actively conspiring to keep them apart. After Skyfall it was very evident that James felt something for M, and something much more than was wise to point out to either of them publicly.”

“Yes, I did point it out when I first met him. I could see it in the way she glanced at him, she tried the allusion of aloof disinterest but I knew he failed those tests. She was giving him a boost of confidence, she was sentimental about him. It wasn’t until after her death that I realized that it was a two way street. I was not trying to torture him, I just wanted to see if he could go on. As we saw with this entire Spectre debacle, he was still jumping to her tune and would go to the ends of the earth on that woman’s order.”

“Now we need to get them back and to apologize to M for keeping them apart, when it could have meant a return for her memory. I for one, do not want a pissed off James Bond after me.” Tanner says in a serious tone.

I cannot help but wonder how the two of them got the nerve to hide her away from the world. I now hope that all this does not end in more death and tragedy.

To be continued….


	5. Evil Lair

 

 

***** Olivia- M *****

The boat makes me sick. I spend the entire time in the infirmary with no sight of James.

Ernst Blofeld, as he likes to be called, comes in and checks on me. I finally break my silence, “I hope you plan on killing me because that seems the lesser of evils in my current state.” He just laughs and places two bands on either of my wrists to prevent seasickness.

The way he touches me...makes me feel uncomfortable to say the least. He caresses my hands and wrists while staring at me, as if trying to discern something about me through physical contact. There are obviously questions are on his tongue.

“I know you don’t remember anything my dear...yet...I will enjoy our time together.”

His hand moves to trace my hairline as I pull back from him. Blofeld frowns and move closer to me just to intimidate me, I’m sure. I push myself off the medical bed and stand my ground close to him, never breaking eye contact. Blofeld smirks at me as his hands go to my shoulders. His thumbs rub circles along my clavicle.

“You are a very beautiful woman, I hope someone tells you that often M.”

I say nothing. I know he’s just trying to get to me but I stand still and hold my ground challenging him to do something. He leans towards me but there is a knock at the door that halts his progress towards my lips.

“What is it? I told you I didn’t want to be disturbed.” Blofeld says to the door. The unknown interloper opens the door and enters regardless of Blofeld’s warning.

His man whispers to him and distracts him for a moment. Blofeld turns back towards me with his brows raised. “Sorry my dear, where were we?”

The wrist bands seem to help a little, but I continue to feign seasickness, just so that I will not have to be around this odious man any longer. I fall back against the cot dramatically hoping that he will take the hint and leave me to my misery without any further physical overtures.

There is just something very off about him. He doesn’t seem sane, there is something very wrong with this man.

Blofeld sighs. “We will be getting to know each other better M. After all you will be my guest indefinitely.”

Christ I hope not. I hope that MI6 has what is necessary to find us before Blofeld is forced to kill us.

  
*****

By nightfall the boat slows and eventually stops. Blofeld comes to claim me from the infirmary. He takes me to the deck to watch our approach. We observe the lights shining from the large yacht to cliffs of rock. He wraps a warm wool coat around me to ward off the cold breeze. I have no idea where James Bond is and that worries me.

“M, I wanted you to see your new home. I hope you will enjoy staying here.”

“Where are we?” He places his arm around my shoulder and squeezes as he looks down on me. Again his physical contact makes me very uncomfortable.

“This is Litla Dimun, the only uninhabited of the Faroe Islands. I leased it years ago from their government. Watch carefully…”

There’s a sudden honk of the ship’s horns and a portion of the massive rock wall in front of us opens slowly. I turn as I hear rustling and swearing. The Spanish man drags a beaten Bond, and brings him to the railing pushing him hard against it.

My Spanish captor has a bloody nose and a blackening eye. James meets my eyes as his brows furrow in worry looking me up and down. I know I must look like death after being so ill the entire day. Then he lunges toward Blofeld who still holds my shoulder. The Spanish man grabs Bond’s still tied arms and stops him, pushing him down to his knees.

“Get your bloody hands off her Franz!”

“My, my James. Still so testy. You really should learn to be more polite if you wish to live longer than a day. What do you think of my hollowed out island? Amazing isn’t it. Much nicer than the asteroid crater you blew up.”

The ship begins to slowly make it’s way into the island itself. The large false door still left open behind them. We travel further into the island through a lighted tunnel that eventually opens up to a docking area and the open sky in the centre. There is a docking area and many men around moving supplies. Further I can just make out a control centre and a tunnel to the right that must lead to other areas of the island.

I move away from Franz and move to grab Bond’s arm to help him off his knees. James leans into my hip as he closes his eyes and whispers. “I missed you so much...M.”

Blofeld suddenly pulls me away from him. “No, my dear. You are my guest, but James is my prisoner. A prisoner who will be disposed of eventually.”

“Guests are allowed to leave, Mr. Blofeld. I don’t think you are planning on letting me go and I for one do not want to stay here. I will then meet the same fate as James.”

“So you do remember him? I can’t wait to find out all the other things you remember my dear.”

“Not bloody likely. MI6 will send a team and this place will be destroyed.” I look down at James who has his lips pressed in a firm line ready for anything. This will end up in blood. I am sure as hell not going to stay in this place, as an entertaining plaything for a madman.

The boat stops and Blofeld; Franz as James calls him, guides me off the boat and down the tunnel into an open lounge area. It’s modern and well appointed, like a luxury flat rather than the evil lair of a megalomaniac. There is a entertainment area and bar, which makes me desperate for a drink.

“There are apartments and rooms down the right passageway there my dear. Straight ahead through that door is the dining area and to the left the kitchen. I will allow you to get cleaned up and dressed for dinner. You too James if you promise to behave yourself. There are clothes in either of your rooms for you to change into. Our dinner will be late as it is already after 7. Please be ready in an hour. Garcia will show you to your rooms.”

Garcia, the Spanish man who took me from Kincade’s pushes James down the hall towards two sets of doors across from each other. He open the one on the left and ushers me in. I turn to see him open the door across and take a knife to cut James’ bonds as he pushes him into his room. James whirls around and freezes as his eyes meet mine.

“M...just relax and do as they say. I will be right here.” Garcia closes the door and locks him in as he turns on me with a smirk. “Go get all pretty for dinner M. Blofeld doesn’t like to be kept waiting.

 

****** 007 *****

I only get the most aggravating and agonizing short glimpses of M. I manage to lean against her legs and side after she comes to my aid and touches me. I so desperately want to feel her warm skin under my hand. I need this contact to assure myself that she’s real, flesh and blood not an illusion. Blofeld could be drilling into my head at this point, distorting everything. The bastard has been in my life for too long now...always calling the shots and manipulating everything.

God...I want her so badly. I have to hide it...try to hide how badly I want her in my arms. If Franz finds out he may begin making forceful sexual advances towards her because of my feelings. For now, hopefully he only thinks she’s my beloved mother figure. I will kill the bastard and everyone in this compound. I will get us to the boat and take us back to Britain. Or even better, sail her to the Bahamas. We can then spend some much needed time alone.

I shower quickly and tend to my cut skin and my wrists. The ones that clod Garcia caused, when I fought him. The bruises will heal eventually. What I need to do now is to play this cool. I need to talk with M privately somehow. To tell her to be ready to run when I tell her to. To tell her...try to tell her how I feel, regardless of her lack of memory.

Tanner said not to wait and that I might be the one who can help her. I wonder if she will believe me? If she remembers me at all it would be unlikely. Perhaps I can convince her of my sincerity, now that she doesn’t have a mental catalogue of all the women I’ve been with over the years.

Feelings...speaking of feelings. Shit! I haven’t even given Madeleine a second thought since I found out about M. I will have to deal with her later, if I manage to get out of this one alive.

This is the mission and I will make sure M gets out of this alive...somehow. The longer my heart beats for her, the longer Q has to trace my smart blood to this location.

Within the hour Garcia and another man come to get me with a taser at the ready. I join them in the hall as they knock on M’s door. Garcia opens the door but M’s nowhere to be seen. My heart clenches in a panic. Garcia walks into the room and then I can hear her argue with him. Even with no memory you can’t remove the stubborn from that woman.

_I don’t like this dress and I don’t want to go to dinner! I still feel too ill._

I can only hear M as Garcia blocks any or all view of her in the room.

“You do not have a choice madame.” Garcia says as he pulls her into view.

I react instantly and forcefully as I charge into him. I hit him in the head as I pull his hands off her then push him out the door. The other man with the taser can only reach Garcia with the weapon, as I toss him out of the room and onto the taser. I slam the door shut and turn to the desk. I grab the chair and lodge it under the door handle. It will not hold for long, but possibly long enough for me to talk to M.

M’s a vision in a sleeved blue gown that hugs her from her shoulders to the hips, then draping loosely to the floor. The neckline is a plunging V from her shoulder exposing her clavicle and a vast amount of her upper chest. The dress is further adorned with a lovely pin with crystals over her heart. The skirt has a silver overlay with stars against the dark blue underlay that matches the bodice.

I understand why she was nervous about wearing such a revealing dress, near a psychopath like Franz. However, she does manage to pull it off. If the desired effect of this dress is my seduction it’s mute, because I was long ago seduced by her and likely without her even being aware of the seduction.

“I suppose it’s too late to make a run for it.” I say to her as her eyes snap to mine in a sudden flash of fear and confusion.

“What...what did you…say?”

“I suppose it’s too late to make a run for it.” I repeat wondering what’s suddenly wrong.

M begins to pace in front of me, a scowl on her lovely face. I remember the look. M’s uncovering something important to the mission.

She stops and suddenly looks back at me and says quietly, “I’m game if you are...M. That’s what we said to each other isn’t it? At Skyfall...just before...”

We look at each other as tears fill our eyes. I wrap M in a hug, so tightly it likely hurts her. My hand holds her head to my chest as I smell her hair and just sway with her as she cries. I have the sensation of tears falling from my eyes, but M sobs. She sobs so hard, I begin to worry.

“M...M...it’s OK. I’ve got you now and I need to tell you two very important things before the big bad wolf blows the door down. I love you and missed you so much. We will deal with all that later, but for now, I need you to follow my lead and run back for the ship when I tell you. Can you be ready?”

I feel her shake her head against my chest. Her sobs lessening and tapering off.

 

***** Olivia-M *****

 I shower and look around the room. There are toiletries and makeup, as if he was prepared for a female captive at some point, or me. I cannot imagine being a voluntary guest to this place. If Blofeld was prepared for me as his intended guest, it leads to far more uncomfortable and disturbing questions.

The dress feels too small and tight. It must be for another, far younger woman than I. Then again, it’s the right length, which is strange. The shoes provided range in size and heel height so at least his investigation into me did not provide my shoe size.

I’m not use to wearing such body clinging attire, after a comfortable year in the highlands with Kincade. The pin on the left breast of the dress is attractive but exactly what is this dress to represent? I am completely out of my element in this attire. Did I have to wear gowns like this before? How many formal functions did I have to attend when I was M? I admit the colour is good on me. My hair glows white and my eyes flash a similar blue. The wristbands Blofeld placed on me to prevent illness are still in place to ward off the after effects of that horrible voyage.

All of this makes me think of Kincade. Poor Kincade, I do hope he’s alright. I feel too sick to leave the room to go for dinner with agent Bond and the maniac who brought us here. James seems familiar but nothing is coming back. Not one meeting or...nothing but the images I have burned into my head from looking at the photos Kincade has.

I hear the door, but lay on the bed. I tell Garcia that I am unwell and do not wish to go. He yanks me from the bed and pulls me towards the short hall to the door.

The next seconds move lightning fast as James attacks Garcia, closes and barricades the door.

He looks at my dress and his face changes suddenly. It hasn’t been that long since I saw Kincade look at me that way. We were about to got to town for dinner and when I joined him dressed and ready to go he had that same look of desire. To have James look at me like that makes me inhale suddenly in shock. Could Kincade, Tanner and M’s warnings about James’ feelings for me be true? His eyes probe mine hoping for some recognition, while still holding all the passion that I never really expected to see from such a young face.

He moves towards me with a serpent like grace as he says, “I suppose it’s too late to make a run for it.”

It’s like a slap in the face with a frozen hand. The phrase...my own words saying the very same thing! SKYFALL! I respond...his own words back, “I’m game if you are...M.”

I begin to shake and cry in his arms as a flood of memories come rushing back to my mind. I died...Skyfall.

Images of that fateful night that were flashing desperately in my subconscious and trying to make themselves known every time Kincade took me to the ruins, slam into me all at once. That eerie feeling I had, whenever I visited Skyfall. Sudden memories of James and his smell surrounding me, making me feel safe and loved regardless of the fact I was slipping away.

Nigel...I remember Nigel. Judi and Ryan. Tanner and Eve...Silva.

I remember Silva wanting me to kill us both with one bullet. He couldn’t get over me...over what had happened in China. Silva was as mad, if not madder than this Franz Blofeld character.

Sciarra must have lead Bond to Blofeld. He found him! The connection to all that has come before, Casino Royale, Quantum and Silva. I feel cold. I feel the cold I felt that night in his arms as death crept up to claim me.

I eventually calm to his voice as the pounding at the door increases. I need to be ready I need his warmth against me. James told me to run to the boat on his order. He said he loved and missed me. I wonder how this happened? The way he looked at me in this dress...he truly means this...all of this…insanity crashes over me.

Could it actually be romantic love like Kincade guessed? Why on earth would this glorious man love an old woman like me?

Nigel loved me but we were young, so full of life...so many memories. The entirely of my life comes crashing against the now battered barricade in my mind and tumbles over it. The pounding at the door increases, as James Bond tilts my mouth up to his and kisses me. It’s as if he sensed I needed proof.

I don’t want it to end...the memories and feelings flood together. He does love me...not as a replacement mother. My feelings for him are definitely not of those for a son, that has become abundantly obvious. I’m warming considerably faster now.

I moan and lean into him, my arms around his back and one of his around mine. His other hand is threaded through my short hair holding my head to his as he intensifies our kiss.

The door crashes open to reveal Blofeld, who’s one good eye opens widely in surprise as he takes in what is happening between us. Bond’s hand goes to my breast as he quickly removes the lovely pin and puts it in his jacket pocket.

Blofeld's shock turns into a smirk. “Not the sainted mommy figure after all eh, James?”

Franz comes and grabs my arm and pulls me away, as his men pull James’ arms in front of him and place him in handcuffs. They drag Bond out into the hall to follow after us.

Franz looks at me as he holds my arm. “This will be a dinner to remember M. Do you remember now M? I think you must if that moment of kissing your agent is anything to go by. I see that you’ve been crying, an emotional break would follow the return of your secrets darling.”

“How does my memory relate to me kissing an attractive man?” I say to defuse the situation. I can’t have Blofeld go into a rage and kill James for some slight. “Perhaps I enticed him into that kiss, just because I wanted him.”

“Tisk...tisk. And here I thought you and I would be striking up an intimate friendship over dinner. Oh well...James will not be alive that much longer and then you and I can begin, what I am sure with be a long, mutually rewarding...friendship.”

To be continued...


	6. Escape

 

 ***** Olivia-M *****

 

The long rectangular dining table has Blofeld at one end and James at the other.  Blofeld’s man Garcia, takes one of Bond’s cuffs off and attaches it to the arm of the heavy wood dining chair. Garcia leaves the room, leaving only one guard remaining.

 I’m sitting on the side of Blofeld that is not scarred and blind so that he can watch me closely.  He gaze is decidedly uncomfortable.

The soup comes and Blofeld regales us with stories about the base we are currently sitting in.  Bond smirks and adds that a naval destroyer could still manage some damage. 

“How would they find us?  As far as MI...whatever number is left, is concerned we could be back in Morocco James.  Speaking of Morocco, how is Madeleine?  M did he tell you of his beautiful young lover?  On top of her being a doctor 17 years his junior, she’s my former associate Mr. White's daughter.  What a small world.  When my satellites take control of the world wide web and all the cameras in the world are at my disposal, it will seem even smaller.  On the plus side my dear, I plan on eliminating nasty destabilizing religious elements with your help.  You see, the two of us will become the world’s great saviours.  The King and Queen of the surveillance world.  Together the two of us can rule this world M.” 

“You're a terrorist in your own right Franz...how the hell do you think that will be ignored?”  James shouts down the table.  “She will not be your Queen in any sense of the word.  Now get your hand off her knee Blofeld!”

 I don’t know how James saw that Blofeld gave my knee a squeeze, but he did and he’s not at all happy about it.  Blofeld continues to  natter on about his plans for world domination, with me at his side.  I hope that whatever James has planned happens soon.  I pray that Gareth is coming with some sort of rescue.

 “Jealous agent Bond?” 

“No, because you don’t have a hope in hell with her!”

“Really, I daresay I do if I hold your life in the balance.” 

I see James’ face flush in aggravation.  Blofeld just looks like a smug bastard who’s planning on using me in some physical fashion, just because he saw me in James’ arms.

I turn to look at him severely as I remove his hand from my knee.  “You’re so jealous of him that you will take me to bed just to bother him?  That says a great deal about your mental frailties Franz.  How could you be attracted to an old woman like me?  You will only cross that line because you believe James wants too.  Have you even considered that we were playing games with you?” 

“FRANZ is not a name that means anything to me anymore.  My name is Ernst Blofeld and that is the name you should use!”   

He grabs my hand and I try to pull away from him.  “I will be sure that it’s engraved on your gravestone Franz!” I yell at him as I pull away.

Blofeld slams his fist on the table as his man comes to his side.  He whispers into his ear and he moves toward Bond and hits him across the face.  It’s obvious that he plans on hurting Bond to punish my insubordination.

 I scream, “NO!”

 The guard then moves to take the cuff from the chair and James springs to life, already free.  In blinding action, James punches the man then pulls him down on his fork directly into his eye.  Blood spurts as the man screams in agony alerting anyone within ear shot of the attack.

 Blofeld stands and pulls me to him holding me up against him with a steak knife at my throat.  The cold blade bites my skin as his other arm pulls me against him.  He hisses in my ear. 

“You are mine now.  Tell him to stand down!”

 Other men stream into the room as Bond grabs the gun from his downed attacker.  James must have picked the cuffs with the pin he took from my dress.   

“Run M!”

 I slam my heeled foot down on the top of Blofeld’s foot as I elbow him as hard as I can in the stomach.  I run for the door we came through as Bond fights off two more men.  

I don’t look back.  

This is what Bond’s trained and paid to do.   I will follow his instructions as he once followed mine, if not more to the letter.

 I run to the open area as fast as my heels allow and climb aboard the boat we arrived on.  There are two confused crewmen onboard.  

 “You have a very important choice to make.  Get this boat ready to shove off, or stay here in this base and have the Royal Navy level it.  Life or death boys...what will it be?”  I pray the ruse works to my favor.  I use my most commanding voice and it seems to work.

 

 *****  007 *****

 

Franz that smug bastard is monologuing and pawing at M while I manage to unlock the cuff on the chair.  I will have to move fast and there is only one armed guard here in the dining room.  Franz always was a cocky bastard.  I don’t like the way he is looking at her and he’s not above assaulting her to get at me.  Worse yet he may coerce and convince her to sleep with him just to keep me alive a little longer.

I manage to unlock the cuff without notice.

I order M to run and she does after knocking Franz into the wall on the far side of the room.  I fork the guard but as the shouting begins, more come into the room.  I use my attackers gun and unload into three more men as they enter the room by the door behind me.  I turn to Franz and fire several times but he hides behind a wooden support pillar on the other side of the room.

I take a running jump on the dining table sliding across and grabbing a knife as I go.  Franz’s now visible as he yells into a communication device.  I shoot again but he moves around the pillar.  Another guard arrives through the door M ran out of and I shoot him...no more bullets.  Franz moves to grab his guards gun but I throw the knife at him taking him in his arm.

Alarms sound throughout the complex.  I want to kill the bastard but he yanks the knife from his arm and begins shooting at me.  I make for the door and M.  

Just outside the door I meet my first resistance.  I disarm him and shoot him with the AK 47 he use to have, before I relieved him of his burden.  Other men run around a corner and I take care of them before turning back to the dining room and opening fire.  

I hope to hell I hit the bastard.  The bells and horns sound on the boat we arrived in.  I run towards it as I shoot at barrels of combustible material stacked along the side of the waterway.  The liquid gushes out and I jump onto the boat ordering the two men who were getting ready to cast off, to stay off the ship.   

M’s up in the captain's room with a pilot of the ship.  When she sees me she nods at the man and we begin our retreat, back out to the open sea.  Alarms rip around and flashing lights as the Captain yells into the comm system for them to keep the false door open.  

It’s beginning to close slowly because of the alarms.  We need to speed this up or it will block our escape.

 I shoot the light over the barrels I took out causing a spark and flames erupt.  

 "Hurry...this place is going to blow if we’re in or out!”  I yell at the man as I pull the throttle lever on the control panel.  It’s going to be close.

 The fire suppression system kicks into gear as men line up and begin shooting at us.  I pull M down but the captain is not so lucky.  He drops dead beside me with a shot to the head.  An explosion sends light and heat in every direction.  The suppression systems will have a hard time dealing with it and it took out many of the men shooting at the yacht.

 We back down the waterway and out of the island as fast as possible.  The door slowly closing to the point where it takes off some of the nautical antennas and equipment from the roof of the bridge.  We finally burst out of the island and make it to open sky.  

 Once clear of the island I hit the throttle hard to the south.  I will have to watch for rocks and smaller islands as much of the equipment is out.  M begins trying the radio to see if there is any reception.  I get her to hold our course for a moment while I search our dead captain’s pockets.

 I pull out his cell and access the emergency call feature to open the phone.  A voice sounds and I begin to tell them to contact the authorities about a terrorist attack on Faroe Islands.  The accented voice does not seem to understand so I use German.  They hardly beleive me so I walk out on deck with the emergency flare gun and shoot a few into the air back over the direction of the small island to draw attention to it.

 I take over the steerage duties from M and tell the authorities that missiles have been fired at a small Island.  That gets them screaming in response.  

 I make for more open water and head south.  I call Q with the next call.  The reception is sketchy but he does answer.

  _The Royal Navy is on it’s way Bond.  Is M alright?_

 I breath a sigh of relief and look down on M standing beside me dressed to the nines and a bloody sight for sore eyes.  

 “M is just beautiful Q...simply stunning.”

  _OK...I don’t know what to say to that.  I see your signal stay that course and the ship will rendezvous with you within a few hours._

 “Q I don’t want to be a stickler for time or anything. but how long exactly do I have alone with M on this ship?”

  _007...I...don’t really know.  Slow your speed and I would expect three hours._

 I look over at M who’s now blushing in the moonlight in her gorgeous gown.   That seems a good amount of time to get to enjoy each other, but then again longer would be better.   “M how do you feel about diverting to...the Bahamas with me?”

 “James...I don’t think I could manage.  Seasick.”  She holds up her wrists still wearing the seasickness bands.  “I think we need to get back to Scotland first.”

 “First?”

 “I think you have a girlfriend to see about Bond.  Ask Q if Kincade is alright?”

 “Did you hear that Q?”

  _Yes, M good to hear your voice again Ma’am.  Mr. Kincade is slightly concussed but fine, as are Finn and Sawyer he wanted you to know.  Madeleine is staying with him waiting for your return to Scotland.  I hope to see the both of you soon and please be safe._

  
Q disconnects and M’s all smiles and just as a sudden unsettled feeling washes over me.

 “M...tell me...you and Kincade?  Please tell me you didn’t…”

 James frowns and sighs.  Will the two of them ever get this right at the same time?

 M smiles and moves towards me, placing a hand over my heart.  “No...we’re friends. But you do have a girlfriend to get back to apparently.”

 “I do, only because you died.  I never would have left you alone after Skyfall, had you lived.  I would have built up the courage to tell you or you would have guessed because I refused to leave your side.  How about you living with Kincade?

 “He wanted more, but there was something, or someone with a hold over my unknowing heart.  At first I thought it was Nigel, his memory or lack thereof.  However, they were all quick to tell me of our not so filial, sentimental relationship.  It wasn’t until I saw your image in a photo at Kincade’s that I knew it was you….it’s always been you that burns brightest in my heart James.”

 I pull her to me and kiss her with everything I have.  My hands wandering until she pulls away.

 “That being said James, this is neither the time nor place for one of those incidents when you sail off into the bedroom.  My stomach will never manage much time on this boat.   Not to mention the ambiance leaves much to be desired.”  M looks down at the deceased former captain of this ship.

 “Not to mention, you have a lover you need to deal with.”

 “Deal with eh?  How do you think I should manage that M?”

 “Not with a bullet, but with tact, understanding and perhaps she won’t hate you.  Maybe she will just hate me.”

 “Madeleine never wanted a relationship with a killer anyway.  You M; on the other hand, seem to only have relationships with killers.”

 “What is that suppose to mean?  My husband was not a killer!”

 “Nothing bad...it’s just been your job for a very long time.”  I still hold M within an arm’s length away but she’s refusing all my advances.

 “007 I will not be your post mission conquest!  Since when do they last anyway?”

 “Madeleine and I have been together for months I will have you know.”

 “Oh and that makes me feel so much better!  You and the young gorgeous doctor playing house, all the while I was trapped in Scotland with your father figure.”

 “Kincade fell in love with you didn’t he?”

 “Yes.”

 “Damn it!  That’s not going to make visiting Scotland with you on my arm and easy affair, is it?”

 M laughs and it makes me feel real joy again.  “No...not for either of us.”

 “I will call Madeleine right now and break it off.”  I look down on her wanting nothing more than to take her dress off and have my way with her here on the deck.  I begin trailing kisses from her wrists up her arm to her neck pulling her close and sharing the warmth of my body with her.

 M moans and leans into me.  She’s weakening in her resolve.  “No James.”  She says in a sort of sexual breathlessness, that comes with the same arousal and need I feel.

 “You cannot be like this...I refuse to be the other woman.”

 I kiss her neck sucking on her earlobe.  “There are no women but you...there has never been any that come close.  Madeleine is close to Vesper and Vesper was a mere shadow of you. You are the woman I could never have.  The one I have always wanted, deeply and desperately for so long.”                                                

 “James...we have to stop...argh.”

 I can’t stop...it’s too much.  “I don’t care about her the way I love you M.  Please don’t... stop me...so much...wasted....time not touching you like this.  I’ve dreamed of this...for years...the way you feel.  The way you respond to my hands, my lips and my tongue. Please let me...please you...M.”  

 My lips meet hers and her passion in return overwhelms me.  I need her so much...I forget the bitterness and anger over her death in the heat of her kiss.  I pull her up and place her on the console.  My hands go to the hem of her gown.  I  pull the material up, while caressing her legs and moving to stand between them just to get closer to her.  I move my hands around her to pull down her zipper and to touch the soft skin of her back.

M moans against my lips and I almost lose it.  

This goes far beyond anything I’ve experienced since the clumsiness of my first time.  My control is slipping, she has me completely undone, just by the passion of her kisses.  Christ, she nips at my lips and she tastes like the wine we had with dinner.  I have no idea how far she’s willing to go, but I’m too damn lost to care.

The rest of the world can go to rot as far as I’m concerned.

To be continued...


	7. Interruptions

 

***** Olivia-M *****

I tilt my neck loving the feeling of him pressed up against me all hard and strong. He smells of soap, sweat and smoke from the fires he causes wherever he goes. Speaking words of adoration and love that I never dreamed would be for me. His hot breath on my neck is my undoing. I don’t want to stop. I know I should, but he’s so right about wasted time.

All those years…

Damn! Even before Nigel died, deep down in the barely acknowledged recesses of my mind I wanted this man. I wanted everything he could do for me and to me...it seems so deeply wrong but damn! I’ve pictured this on more than a few occasions.

James lifts me onto the console of controls as he pushes the skirt of the dress up so he can stand between my legs. Getting as close to me as possible, while still dressed. I can feel his arousal against my inner thigh. I cannot contain a moan as his warm soft lips continue to move over my skin.

Why ever did I want to fight this? Dear God it’s been a long time…far too long. All those night I pondered Kincade’s offer because I needed this.

Things between Kincade and I would not have made me feel a fire within me like this. James is undoing any ounce of control I’ve ever had, or pretended to have in the past. Dear God he’s so hot! His skin is burning and his lips are soft and so warm on my skin.

His hands are everywhere at once. Pulling me against him and softly caressing my back as I feel him find the zipper and draw it down my back. My hands move up and down his arms feeling the taut muscles flexing under his shirt and jacket. I slide my hands up his shoulders to remove his suit jacket. It falls to the floor at the same time as my zipper finds its base at my lower back

His tongue battles mine playfully in our mouths as the sudden sound of a horn and lights freeze us. I think we both groan, as we pant to catch our breaths.

I moan into his shirt, my fists balled in the soft fabric to hold me steady, and keep James close to me. “What is it now? Haven’t we done enough?” I don’t want to let him go but he reaches over and grabs the machine gun and reluctantly pulls away from me.

He points at me. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.” A look of arousal mixed with rage at being disrupted flashes at me.

I begin to chuckle finding our mutual desire and annoyance at being interrupted somewhat amusing. I never wanted to concede on the bridge of this ship with a dead man lying just feet from us.

What was I thinking?

I definitely was letting his heat and passion do away with all my reason. James Bond is a very dangerous man but he’s my destructive and immensely irritating, dangerous man.

I’m left cold and alone and despite his order to the contrary I slide off the console. I struggle to pull up the zipper Bond opened down my back.

“Christ this had better not be Blofeld again.” I say to myself as I move to exit the open door.

Bond scowls and holds his hand out toward me to stop me from progressing any further into danger. I ignore him. If anything happens I plan on being at his side.

Nothing bad had better happen now that we’ve found each other, because that teasing taste will not do.

I need all of him.

As conflicted as I am about being the other woman, James has convinced me that this was destined to happen. We’ve been dancing around each other for years.

Our thinly veiled passion set to erupt the moment my stubborn head wrapped around the truth of the matter. I should have known. Seeing him sitting in my flat with my laptop open pretending to play cards.

His casual glances. His attitude after Mitchell.

Running off to South America to find the associates of the man who tried to have me killed. After all that, he ends up with that man’s daughter. I wonder what she’s like? Besides beautiful and that she is, all his women are beautiful.

I look down on myself in this borrowed gown that looks like something for a much younger woman than I. How does he see that in me? I’m too short by far; with nothing but sags and wrinkles as far as I’m concerned. I was cute at best when I was young. My eyes my best feature by far and Nigel loved my eyes. My heart clenches in my chest as I remember my dead husband. I did love him and I do love James.

Age is all a matter of perspective and Bond has aged. Matured over the years I’ve known him. The first time he broke into my flat he was so full of bravado and gall.

I’m sure I fell for him in those moments. The moment when I saw the affinity. When he took my words of advice and understood my admonishments. From that point on he was my creature. My sexy warrior to thrust on the unsuspecting criminal elements of the world.

 

*****007*****

A helicopter circles above and shines a bright searchlight onto the bridge of our stolen getaway ship. I reluctantly pull away from M and grab the machine gun from its resting place beside me. I leave the warmth of her embrace and run outside to see what is going on.

I tell her not to move from that spot. Because in my head I plan to shoot this bloody helicopter from the sky and continue what we just started. I turn to see that the frustrating women has followed me.

A loudspeaker sounds with the familiar voice of Gareth, coming through. “Dame Commander Mansfield...lovely to see you again. 007 stand down and allow us to land.”

I salute and move past M to enter the bridge to stop the progress of the ship. The helicopter lands on the allotted area where Blofeld's landed earlier in the day. I grab Olivia’s hand and pull her along with me, down the stairs from the bridge.

“It’s Mallory.” I say as she frowns at me and responds, “you mean M.”

“Not to me he isn’t. You will always be my only M.”

“James you are going to get yourself in some deep water with that attitude. He’s been your M for over a year now and I’m sure you accepted that at some point.”

I pull her hand to my lips and kiss it. I can’t stop looking at her...I just want some bloody time alone with her and now the pretender to the throne arrives to piss all over my plans.

*****Olivia-M*****

“Don’t you dare give him a bollocking because of all this Bond. The man gave me time to heal in peace with little stress and a caring companion to watch over me. Don’t you dare attack him!”

“I will try to be nice...for you darling.”

M gets out and moves towards us with a smile on his face.

“Good to see you both. Thought you might like to get home a bit sooner Olivia.”

“Yes Gareth, that would be nice.”

James frowns at his boss. “You could have called first. I am only refraining from punching you in the face because M forbade me from attacking you.”

M looks at my obviously flushed face and tousled hair, zipper not quite all the way up my back and he looks abashedly at 007.

“Sorry about that Bond. It was the decision I made to protect both of you. As for my timing, I’ll know better next time.”

“Next time will never happen if I have anything to say about it. M will not be in that kind of danger again.” James says very seriously.

Two men leave the helicopter and take over the controls of the ship. They bring portable communications devices, to replace the ships that were destroyed in our escape.

“What happened to Blofeld?” I ask Gareth trying to divert the tension between him and James.

“We are not sure yet Olivia. The Faroe Island’s security made it there first and our ship will be there soon to help conduct the investigation. It doesn’t look good. I’m afraid that Blofeld may have escaped.”

James squeezes my hand. “I will track him down and finish him for us.” James says.

“No you won’t 007. You are on extended medical leave for another week remember. I will have 005 and 009 look into it, assuming the man escaped the island after you did your best to blow it up.”

“Knowing Franz he escaped. I will meet up with him again eventually. M; I forgive you for hiding her from me and I understand the reasoning behind it. However, this intrusion is another matter completely. So much for sailing off into the sunrise with the woman of my dreams.”

I look at the somber face of Gareth meeting the very intense gaze from Bond.

I begin to chuckle to alleviate the mood as I turn to look at him. “I would have been far too ill to make it to the Bahamas anyway James.” He pulls my hand to his mouth again and kisses it.

I look at Gareth and smile. “As you likely guessed, Bond tripped my memories Gareth. Something we said to each other at Skyfall, and they all came rushing back. Years of life, like a fast playing film in my head. I want to see my children as soon as I can. I would also like to visit your new operation, if you will allow it.”

“Are you sure? It could be dangerous. As we have learned, there are eyes everywhere.”

“I know but I for one am tired of hiding. I want to walk the streets and enjoy my life and freedom again. If Blofeld kills me so be it. I will have lived the life I wanted, and enjoyed the people I love.”

“I will look after M. Olivia I mean. I hope that you will even consent to marriage?”

“James! Don’t be ridiculous! I am far too old for you to marry.” The shock and disappointment shows instantly on his handsome features. “Besides James it’s much hotter if you are my lover and even better if you are my secret lover.”

James embraces me and dips me low as he kisses me. I laugh into his mouth trying not to topple over. His hands hold me securely and I know that he would never let me fall.

“I will not be able to keep this secret darling. Besides, Eve’s a busy body and can’t keep her mouth shut.”

Gareth and I both laugh as James lets me out of his dramatic dip to stand and walk to the helicopter.

There may be people to see and meet again as it were, but I will do it with James. Something leads me to believe he’s not about to leave my side anytime soon. Likely for fear I will disappear or forget him again.

James continues to kiss and squeeze my hand as we fly towards home. When he does look at me, it’s with the most incredible smile and it lifts my heart.

It’s an entirely new beginning, now that all the pieces are in there proper place in my mind. I plan on enjoying the fact that I am a retired woman with the promise of a very attentive young lover in my near future. In the comfort of his arms around me I begin to submit to the fatigue this adventure thrust upon me.

My calm life in Scotland is now just a fond memory, of casual friendship and walks with the dogs. I feel myself dropping off with images of Scotland and the smell of dinner cooking in the cottage Kincade and I shared. My life is different now...but Scotland where my rebirth took place and I will always love it there.

*****

I doze for much of the flight but when I wake James teases me about not being able to handle the action of an agent.

“That is why I wasn’t one and instead became the boss.”

“Well you may need some extra training just for safety purposes.”

“No, first we need a lift to Scotland to see Kincade and Madeleine. There are some conversations that we need to have.”

M alerts the pilot. “We will go there first. Bond we had your car taken to Glencoe, it’s a bit banged up according to Q. You will need to deal with him over that one.”

“Perfect. James you can drive it back to London with Madeleine and have a good long talk. I will fly back to London and ask my children to meet me there.” I can see the dread in his eyes but I hold them in challenge. “I will have a clean slate or none at all and you need to explain all this to the girl.”

“But where will you stay?”

“I have a safe house with some of her things Tanner managed to hide from the estate all set up. It’s close to your old flat and if you like it Olivia it’s yours. I will manipulate the books on it but you will be henceforth considered a consultant for the MI programmes.”

“You’ve really gotten the hang of the job Mallory. Good for you. There it’s all settled. I will see you in a day or so James. You need to treat this woman well and maybe you will keep a friend.”

*****007*****

Even with the loss of her memory M’s stubbornness remains securely in tact. Staying friends with Madeleine will not be possible. I already know this but I will do anything this woman wants me to in order to have a future with her.

“That’s unlikely and you have to meet her too if she’s at Kincade’s. It’s late for us to make it there, why don’t we go to a hotel tonight.”

M nods as he looks at his watch. “I think that’s a good Idea.” He speaks to the pilot to take us to Glencoe and radios Q to arrange rooms.

I hold up two fingers for the amount of rooms. I’m not going to let her out of my sight let alone stay in her own room.

Olivia just rolls her eyes and nods. Since she’s going to force me to spend 8 hours in misery driving to London with a woman who’s definitely going to try to kill me at some point; I might as well enjoy a few peaceful hours in her arms first.

To be continued....


	8. Madeleine

 

***** Madeleine *****

 

He just ran out the door!

James left me here!

He screamed M and ran out the door after someone. I was under the impression that M was in London?

I open the purse and pull out the mobile. It’s locked so I hit the emergency link to talk to the operator.

“Yes I found a friend lying on the floor unconscious I am new to this area where is the nearest hospital? No I can drive him I just need to know where…Alright...I will be there soon. Thank you.”

I pick up the tablet and press play. I see two men one carrying a small white haired woman over his shoulder as the dogs jump and nip at him.

Who is she? Why are they taking her and why did James disappear without explanation?

Kincade comes back to consciousness. I help him sit at the table in the kitchen as I look at the tablet and purse on the table. I give him a cold compress for his head as I instruct him to hold it in place.

“Mr. Kincade I am Dr. Madeleine Swann, a friend of James’. We were on our way here for a visit. I will take you to hospital soon.”

“Emma? Is she?”

I look through the phone and find Tanner’s name. I wait for my call to connect through to Tanner.  
I hold my hand up to silence him as a voice comes on the line.

_Hello? M?_

“No this is Dr. Madeleine Swann and Mr. Kincade. James left us here very suddenly. It appears by the recording left behind that a woman has been taken.”

_Yes. I have Kincade’s mobile number and will contact you both later. We are dealing with the situation. *click*_

He hung up! “Well that was short and hardly sweet.”

“Those men are not known for their talkin’. Likely looking for the lass already.”

“Come Mr. Kincade, I will take you to hospital.”

“Kincade please lass. Here let me see that.” I hand the older gentleman the tablet and he watches with concern as the woman is lifted up by the giant man as she screams and the dogs bark and jump at him.

“Damn them! The lad is after her now...things could be worse. If you had not arrived they would have gotten away without much of a fight. I was caught by surprise. Getting too soft in my old age.”

“Well Kincade, I can’t see how you could have fought those men off and saved your wife.”

“Emma...She’s not my wife. No...MI6 had me keep her here, while she healed from Skyfall.”

“M...she is M? The M James has been mourning the last year! How could she do that to James?” I can’t believe that woman would do such an evil thing as to hide herself away while James grieved for her.

“No...no...she didn’t. Tanner and M thought it best what with her not remembering.”

I help Kincade to the car and begin driving into town. “Amnesia? Really? Or was this all just another lie that spies and killers tell to make people suffer.”

“No...the lass has no memory. I took her to the demolished grounds on several occasions and nothing. She was going back to London today in hopes that the familiar surroundings would help. I’m fine lass...don’t need the doctor.”

“Mr. Kincade I am a doctor and it’s best they scan your head to look for swelling.”

“A Doctor eh? The boy does pick the best sort of women.”

*****

I drive into town, to hospital and wait anxiously while Kincade gets looked at. Once he’s released we drive back to his cottage. It’s late afternoon and I feel nervous that we have heard nothing. I thought James was finished with all this. After what happened in London with Blofeld.

Spectre is done and James did not kill Blofeld on that bridge. He made progress. He matured and we have a life together. Why do I have the sinking feeling that woman has just pulled him back into that world?

“You can stay here lass and wait for the lad’s return. Did they call with any news while I was in those darn machines?”

“No and I don’t trust that they will. I’m not part of their organization so they will tell me nothing.” It’s true. Moneypenny and Tanner have barely spoken to me when I have been around them. The secrets that they do not trust me with and now James.

They never told him that she lived. He will be furious with them. Perhaps now he will turn away completely and come with me? But then he left me to run after her so quickly...it was as if I didn’t exist for him at all.

“Hand me my mobile lass. I will ask Mr. Tanner.” I hand him the device as I help him settle onto the sofa and bring a blanket up over him.

“Tanner, Kincade here. What’s happening and don’t give me the run around. I see...yes...she will stay here with me. No I don’t suppose it will. Keep us informed. I know we aren’t officially part of this...but we are family...and we do know about all this. Yes...I see.”

I go to the kitchen and begin to make tea. I feel frustrated that Bill Tanner, who I’ve met on more than one occasion, would tell me nothing. He will tell Kincade, but he’s part of all of this. The only reason I was able to contact Tanner at all, was because I had the old woman’s mobile with his number.

I make two sandwiches from some roast I find and bring a tray out into the livingroom. “You have to take it easy with your head so I made us a small meal and tea. I hope I didn’t overstep.”

“Not at all lass. Thank you for looking after me. You and the lad?”

“Yes, for over a month now.”

“You love him?”

He catches me off guard as I sip my tea. I didn’t expect him to be so blunt. “Yes and you and the old M...what was her name...Olivia I think?”

Kincade’s eyebrows rise in surprise. “The boy never spoke of her?”

“No, not really. I asked on the drive up and he would say nothing. It was obvious to me that he loved the woman like a mother and felt her death deeply. I tried to pull some information out of him, but no.”

“I see. He didn’t want to talk about her. Well that’s telling.”

“What do you mean by that? What happened at Skyfall?

“What I can tell you is that Skyfall was a rush. Twenty odd armed men and only the three of us. James...well I never knew what he went on to do after the navy but he shot impressively. He was savage in his intensity to protect her from that Silva fellow. M...well….she spent the day making homemade bombs from the bloody chandeliers...that woman is truly something amazing.”

“The two of you are close, yes?”

“We are, but unfortunately for me, not in the way you think. She lived here to recuperate and she has no memory of that life, so they hid her away from the world while she recovered. They were right to be worried apparently. Someone did come after her and I wasn’t ready.”

“You and she are not...together? James...he...and she...no? She couldn’t possibly entertain the thought of James as a...lover.”

“I asked her to marry me but she declined. As for the lad and his feelings towards her...well...I would definitely say he doesn’t think on her as a mother.”

“Impossible.”

“I think lass, you had better know the truth as far as I know it. Tanner and M are obviously not going to tell you. The lad is in love with her and I think she loves him back. She likely has for a very long time but never believed anything would come of it. The longings of an older woman for a young man, would be far too inappropriate for that good lady.”

I can’t believe what he’s telling me. James’ in love with an old woman? “I don’t believe it!”

“Why not? She sent him on that last mission somehow and he won the day and the girl apparently.”

“How do you know she sent him on that mission? I thought her memory was gone?”

“We received updates from M and Tanner after the explosion in London. We were concerned about the lad and called Tanner.”

“But he and I?”

“As far as the lad knew she was dead so falling in love with you was natural. Now the two of you are going to have to have a long talk after they get back.”

I’m furious, how can he so flippantly say James doesn’t love me! That he really loves a woman old enough to be his mother and that he will leave me for her.

“Yes, I suppose we will have to wait and see. I don’t see how they think a relationship will work.”

“Hey now lass, please don’t take offence. I say what I see, and often the truth hurts. You will do better to prepare yourself, because none of what comes next is going to be easy.”

“I will believe it when I see it. I know that there was another woman who died, named Vesper.”

“Yes and apparently she was a lot like Olivia. James may not even have realized how deep it went. His desire for her was transferred to any woman who was remotely like Olivia.”

“Excuse me if I reject your analysis of my lovers intentions, but I hardly think that it was, as you say, or for as long as they’ve knew each other. James will come back to me. He must.”

The old man quirks his brow at me and shakes his head as I gather our dishes and take them to the kitchen in a huff. By the time I return he is asleep on the sofa leaving me to my anxious, angry thoughts.

This is what I dreaded from the beginning of this relationship. James’ tie to MI6 has yet to be broken and now M’s returned from the grave comes to haunt our relationship. Regardless of what Kincade thinks and of the obvious mother issues Bond has, I would be very surprised if he picked her over me.

He’s mine...I think he brought me up here to propose which I’m sure he will as soon as he gets back. I pray he gets back so that we can move away to Europe and leave MI6 and M far behind.

***** Tanner *****

 

Tanner gets off the phone from Madeleine and sighs as he looks into the disappointed eyes of Eve Moneypenny and Q.

M was airlifted to a Royal Navy destroyer and headed towards the Faroe Islands. Q found the shell company that leased the one uninhabited of the Islands in the North Atlantic. Now it’s all just a waiting game.

I look at Eve who looks pissed as she sits, arms crossed and glaring at me. “Ok Tanner, out with it!”

“I don’t know what to say. I managed to keep an international espionage secret so that the world and specifically, M would be safe.”

“How could you do this to us?” Eve says pointing at Q who is sitting at his desk with his tea and his laptop looking at me with the same question on his face.

“I was under orders. You two barely knew M, I’m sorry but it’s true.”

“OK...I understand not telling us Tanner, but what of 007?” Q asks.

I sigh. “I know...he’s going to kill me. But what could I do? Mallory spoke with the PM as soon as the hospital informed us. After dealing with the fall out of Silva and Mallory officially took the chair we kept tabs on her progress and arranged the very public funeral.”

Eve says, “we know Tanner, we were there, and I’m not ashamed to say that I cried. I wished her family well and met her grandchildren who were all overwhelmed by the circumstances and high ranking personnel at her funeral. It’s not every day someone who was hidden from the spotlight dies and suddenly the family are given medal and awards for her service and bravery from the government and the Palace. There were news cameras everywhere and her children were in a complete state of shock. It was good you did take care of all the arrangements because her son and daughter couldn’t have managed that.”

“I know Eve. M...Mallory and I took off by helicopter two weeks later, M awoke from the coma she was in. We went on a weekend to waylay suspicion. No one at MI6 even knew we were gone it was so quick. Kincade was informed immediately that she lived. He was with her daily to watch for progress and to report back to us should anyone be lurking around Emma Smith, her alias.”

Eve sighs. “I understand...but after a few months of her healing why didn’t you tell us at least? We are a team and we do know how to keep a secret.”

“It wasn’t the two of you we were concerned with, it was Bond.”

Eve nods, “you knew he loved her and you didn’t tell him. I’m not sure I would like to be in your shoes upon his return. If he returns...they just have to return...I can’t imagine losing her again or James for that matter. Oh...what if they come back together...together...what of Madeleine?”

“From what I know of 007...Madeleine is the longest relationship he’s had are you sure he will give that up?” Q adds.

“God...I don’t know. I’ve spent some time with the two of them and she’s very protective of James. If he does love M more...this will not go well.” Eve says.

“No, it won’t but I want Olivia and James to be happy. Now that their admiration is finally out in the open they at least deserve a chance together.” I say to them.

“You knew about that all along and never mentioned...Tanner you are full of surprises.” Eve says.

“I have been around the two of them for years and I knew...more like I knew he wanted something from her. At first, it was his alpha male arrogance working against him. I thought he was wondering what she would be like in bed, because she was our boss. But over time, I could tell he wanted more than just that from her.”

Eve chuckles. “I can see that happening. I’ve been on the receiving end of his male arrogance in action.”

Q smirks, “so have many of the staff here. I can see the problems 007 may have trying to convince M of his sincerity in this matter.”

“James will have his work cut out for him that’s for sure. He does manage to get on her nerves a great deal as it is. I always thought she considered him an arrogant unruly child until he flatlined when he was poisoned. It was during the Casino Royale case.”

“That was the one where he meet Vesper wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” I add. “And she saved his life and in the end allowed herself to be killed to ensure his safety.”

“What happened when he flatlined?” Q asks.

“The shock on her face turned to gut wrenching panic so quickly. That was when I first time I thought that perhaps M was a little sweet on Bond too.”

“I still can’t believe it?” Eve says.

“What that 007 could be in love, or that he could be in love with an older woman?” Q asks.

Eve shrugs. “Oh; I just can’t believe that he actually fell in love with anyone not...that M...is…well it’s a shock. M from what I knew of her, was...is a powerhouse of a woman and I don’t think only Bond was attracted to her regardless of her age.”

“Of course she was attractive and it was more than her power over us that made her that way.” I say in defence of a woman who has in all honesty invaded my dreams on more than one occasion over the years.

Eve smirks at me and nudges my arm with her elbow. “I take it you were one then, Tanner?”

I can’t help but laugh and stare at my shoes for a while as I feel a hot flush crawl up my face. Eve and Q begin to laugh at my obvious discomfort.

“Did the two of you know that he broke into her flat?” I say to distract them from my silent admission of lustful thought about M.

“What! That’s downright stalker like behaviour. I never thought 007 would do something like that.” Q says looking completely shocked.

“Why did he do it? It wasn’t for...you know…what.” Eve adds shocked.

“No...well I don’t think he would ever have said no if she wanted that from him. Their relationship was born that day. She taught him what she needed from him and she in return gave him her utmost trust to take his missions where they needed to go. She only ever told me of the occurrence, so that if she did end up dead…”

“That Bond may have killed her!” Eve says even more shocked and dismayed.

“That makes sense, their working relationship was new and he crossed a line by breaking into her flat. Was her husband there?” Q asks.

“Apparently he was sleeping upstairs. How Bond managed entering a secured building and hacking her personal file is something only he can ever answer. He broke in again after returning from you shooting him in Turkey and likely other times as well.”

“In my defence...long distant moving target and she bloody well ordered me to take the shot!”

“We know Eve.” Q says with an eye roll.

“Hey now!” Eve exclaims. “It’s a good defence and she did order me to kill her possible lover.”

“Do you think they were? I mean her husband had passed by then right?” Q asks.

“Yes and I went to a pub with James shortly after Nigel Mansfield died and he and I got drunk. Bond was confused and I could tell he wanted to ask me something so I asked him what the matter was. He wanted to know if I thought M loved her husband.”

“Really? What did you say Tanner?” Eve asked intrigued with what can only be described as a session for extreme office gossip as they stand around in Q’s office beside the communications centre.

“I said yes. Nigel was a really nice gentleman. I met him on several occasions and spoke to him on the phone often. It made Bond sigh and look depressed. I thought it sort of weird at the time, so I asked him why he asked.”

Q’s eyes have gone wide with the tale. “What did he say?”

“How long do you think it takes a woman like M to get over someone like him?”

“Shit! Bond had it bad for her. Did you not realize by that point Tanner?” Eve exclaims.

“Well, in my defence I try not to insert myself into my boss's life that much. What did I know of her personal feelings? She was a guarded person like she had been burnt before. All in all, she is definitely excellent at hiding emotions. Anger she can display with ease, but personal feelings about her husband she would never reveal. After Skyfall it made more sense to me.”

“What do you think will happen now?” Eve asks.

“We get back to work and help the two of them all we can.”

Eve nods and leaves to go get some tea. Q and I move back into comms to wait to hear from Bond.

*****Madeleine*****

 

I doze on the sofa after Kincade goes to bed but awake suddenly with a start. One of the dogs must have moved from the fire or something. I look at the mobile, it’s midnight and no call yet. I hear Kincade on the stair.

“You awake too lass?”

“Yes.”

Kincade’s mobile rings suddenly. We look at each other as he answers and waits for the call to connect.

“Yes...I see...good...good. Yes she’s still here, we’re fine. No...alright. We will see them in the morning then...good glad to hear they’re alright Tanner. Thank you for calling. Yes...it has been a very long day. Goodnight.”

I stand as Kincade breaks into a grin. “They did it! James got her back and M picked them up by helicopter. It’s late so they’re being dropped off at Glencoe House and they will come here in the morning.”

“No...I am going now. May I take your car?”

“I don’t know lass...are you sure you should be driving so late. The lad is likely done in. They will come in the morning.”

“No, he may be hurt, I need to go to him. I have questions for him.” I’m angry he hasn’t felt the need to call me when he knows exactly where I am and that I will be worried.

I take the keys and leave heading back to the hotel James and I enjoyed the night before. I arrive by one in the morning and approach the desk with a smile.

“Hello again.” I say. “I need a key for my room and lost it. Bond is the name it’s under.”

“Yes I remember you Ms. Bond. Your husband and his mother checked in earlier. Suite 238 it’s a one bedroom suite.” The man arching his eyebrows as he hands me a key.

I head to the elevators getting more angry with every step. Bond’s mother...Christ they’re sharing a room! Kincade’s words come flooding back to me as I walk down the hall. He couldn’t...it’s not possible...she’s old enough to be his mother...even the concierge assumed that.

I open the door with the card and enter the suite. It’s a one bedroom and there is no one on the sofa...James should be here on the damn sofa. I turn on the lamp and look around the room. I move to the door of the bedroom and listen. There is a muffled sound and it’s defiantely not snoring.

_*moan* Oh...oh...dear God! *moan*_

My stomach drops as I turn the doorknob and open the door. “James!”

James is on his side leaning over a small woman in a blue evening gown in just his pants. He’s obviously been kissing her.

“Damn it!” I turn away closing the door behind me as I hear him yell, “Madeleine!”

I wrap my arms around myself and begin to cry. They both follow me out into the suite.

“Madeleine...I. I was going to come see you tomorrow.”

“And what...tell me you leaving me for an old woman?” The woman is short with a white pixie cut and flashing blue eyes that cut when she glares at me.

“What? You are old! Too old for him!”

“Stop it Madeleine!”

“I will not. What do you think you are doing? How more text book can your neurosis be? You want to sleep with your mother! And you...you bitch! Leave him to find a life after you’ve done your best to destroy his! You don’t even have the decency to tell him you’re alive and now you want him back after a year of grief and destruction!”

The woman glares at me and moves forward suddenly with a determined look on her face.

“Spoiled little girl. Did he declare his undying love for you? Did he do and say all the things you wanted to hear?”

I nod my head and glare back at the bitch.

“As he was trained to do. Attacking me does not change his feelings for me so grow up!”

“Bitch you create nothing but pain and suffering for him and likely all those under you and now you’re just back to seize control again. You’re nothing more than a whore.”

The woman looks taken aback as she appears to want to explain her less than professional relationship to me.

“I told him I refuse to be the other woman. He was informed that he must make a clean break from you while driving back to London tomorrow.”

“Oh so you granted him leave to dump me did you...you are nothing more than a controlling manipulative mother figure for him and how many other agents...how many do you take to bed to get to do your bidding? M is for mother, murderers and you.”

James is silent but he looks about to burst. I don’t know if he is holding back because of me or because the old bitch has not yet given him permission to move or say anything to me.

“Did you even ask if he was involved or loved another? Or was it only natural for you to assume he wanted you more because...who wouldn’t want you. You are nothing more than an arrogant child that wants the world because of your blonde hair and perky tits! You grew up around your father seeing women treated as objects and thought a medical degree would separate you from that life and give you even more value.”

I am impressed that she can give as good back, at least she admits I beat her in looks anyday.

“At least I’m not a manipulative old bitch! You’re completely unprofessional sleeping with your agent!”

“We haven’t slept together yet Madeleine, you interrupted us. Stop attacking M when it’s me you should really be mad at!”

“How could you love her?” I point to M, I really can’t imagine with us standing side by side that he would chose the old crone.

“He loved another before you, you know. You pale in comparison to Vesper and that is hardly saying much.” M lashes out. “I refused to believe his confession to me but he more than proved his willingness and desire for one as old and hideous as myself. James I’m going to Gareth’s room.”

“No M. No you’re not. Madeleine leave. I love M and I always have. I told you on the way up that you didn’t understand, and that the age on a birth certificate didn’t matter to me. You’re almost 20 years my junior how hard is it for you to believe that I could love someone 20 years older, yet you do?”

“You’re seriously ordering me out? For this old woman? How will your life be in 10 years with even more lines and wrinkles?”

“I don’t bloody care how many lines she has on her face she’s the only woman I’ve ever respected enough to give my heart to, you childish bitch!”

I’m fuming mad as we get in each other’s face. I feel like taking my clothes off to stand beside her for comparison. The old conniving woman’s put him on a leash for years before she supposedly died.

“You faked your death and he still comes running back to you, even though you’re a heartless bitch! What was it? Drug therapy or conditioning you used to make him love you? Is that how you get them to do unspeakable things for the crown?”

M moves towards me again and I suddenly fear she will hit me. “I will not dignify that with an answer.” She turns away showing me her back as she moves towards the suite door. Something snaps within me and I move to grab her and pull her around.

“I will….”

James grabs my arm twisting it behind my back before I can touch his beloved M. He pushes me up against the wall, his seething voice in my ear.

“Don’t you bloody dare raise a hand to her...ever! Do you understand.” He’s teeth are gritted as spittle hits the side of my face and my hair. “I will end you and no one will ever find your body.”

“You know I like it rough James...but Mommy is watching.” I taunt him through clenched teeth.

“James! Let her go.” M says as she comes to pull him away from me. “You felt something for her once...don’t destroy that. When calmer heads prevail, she will eventually understand this. As it is, it’s difficult for me to understand.”

James releases me and I turn with my back against the wall panting in anger and fear. “I hate you both...you are sick murderers who deserve to die painful deaths.” I glare at M when I say it.

Bond move so quickly I lose my breath as he grips my throat and slides me further up against the wall.

He leans in close. “Don’t you ever threaten her again or you will die before you finish talking. Do you understand?”

I can’t breath...stars form before my eyes and I know I have only myself to blame. He’s just another liar and killer for hire. All for the bidding of his controlling mother figure.

“James let her go!”

He does this immediately, at her command. M moves to the phone and places a call. I slump to the floor with my heart pounding in my ears and my hands at my neck. There may be handprints...my own lovers handprints on my neck. I knew he was a killer but this...all for her...for an old woman.

There is a soft knock at the door that reveals the current M. A man I’ve only met once. He takes in the scene and frowns.

“I was a fool to love you.” I spit towards a man I barely recognise as my lover. The suit he pulled on in the bedroom is torn and frayed much like our relationship. All the while she is dressed like a duchess in a blue plunging evening gown. Even through my hate filled gaze I can see that she commands attention and is a beautiful woman for her age. I will grudgingly give her that.

His old woman speaks to M in hushed tones and nods. He comes to me and pulls me off the floor. “Madeleine Swann, it is against the law to threaten a Dame Commander of the British Empire. I will let you sleep in my suite and you will come with me to London tomorrow. Mr. Tanner will escort you to gather your things from Bond’s flat and you will be given a ride to the airport do you understand?”

All I can do is nod. I seriously doubt there is such a law, but what can I do? Her majesty is banishing me away from the man I fell in love with. I hate her more than I ever hated my father. I remember what James told me of my father and I wish he had managed to kill her when he had the chance all those years ago.

M takes me to his suite and gives me the bedroom. Even at this late hour I doubt I can sleep but eventually I cry myself dry, wondering if James is making love to her in the next suite.

*****

The next morning M and I have breakfast in the suite, they brought me my suitcase from the DB5 and another car comes to collect us from the hotel. I do not get to see James or his beloved M again as we go to catch a private jet to London.

M has made herself an enemy today and I don’t care if she’s the Queen of England, I hope she suffers for what she’s done to me and likely many others. How many lives has she had Bond take, just for her ideals? And now she took James from me.

I wish I could say I wish them well and no hard feelings but I don’t. I hope she dies and he comes crawling back to me. I will go find a wealthy well connected man just so I can do whatever I can to pay him back for this embarrassment.

How dare James Bond pick that old woman over me.

To be continued...


	9. Endings and New Beginnings

 

****007*****

“Pass the jam.”

“Be careful 007. You’re getting crumbs all over the bed!”

“No...I’m getting crumbs all over you. I will clean that up as soon as I finish my crumpet.”

M brushes crumbs off her chest as I grimace. “M, I said I will clean them off…”

“I’m not waiting that long, I can’t stand the feeling of crumbs on me, or in the bed. I always had to admonish…”

“Who...M? Nigel?”

“Yes.” M says quietly.

“M I don’t mind you talking about your husband. I know you loved him and you were together a very long time.”

“I’ve heard quite enough about my age for one day, James.”

“I’m sorry about Madeleine’s behaviour M. I told you that an eight hour car ride with her would kill me. She always showed signs of such childishness. It must be the age difference between her and I. In reality she is a very respected doctor. After all we went through to find Blofeld, she believed we were meant to be. She did walk away from me in London after we returned from Morocco. She told me she didn’t want my kind of life. It’s too much like the life her father lead, the life of a killer.”

“What made her change her mind and come back to you?”

“Blofeld kidnapped her before she could leave London and tied her up inside your old office. I barely got us out of there on a boat before the building blew.”

“Really! James, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to antagonize and make everything worse.”

“You didn’t. It had to end and this trip was about that anyway.”

“You were going to leave her after a weekend away in Scotland?”

“I told Tanner before we left, that I would be returning to work. I didn’t ask for her opinion...I just knew it was time and she would be angry. I didn’t know if she would have left me but I was prepared for it.” I say with a grin.

“Mallory is taking her to your flat do you expect anything to remain functioning after.” M smirks at me with that infuriatingly all knowing and sexy way of hers.

“I already sent word to Tanner and Eve to get Jack out of the way and watch her like a hawk.”

“Jack?” M asks in confusion.

“The bulldog you gave me. I don’t think he could survive the hurricane Madeleine is about to unleash.”

“James...I’m not sure about all this.” The worry on her face gives me pause. I will convince her somehow, not to retreat on the progress we’ve made towards the relationship I want with her. I think she wants it to if her heated kisses on the ship and before Madeleine interrupted were anything to go by.

“You seemed fairly certain on the bridge of that ship M.”

“You need to stop calling me M and call me Olivia.” She wags her finger at me.

“You threatened to kill me once for uttering...one...more….syllable.” I say smirking at her.

I dip a strawberry in chocolate sauce and hold it up to her lips as the chocolate dips on my fingers. A spot of chocolate drops to her cleavage.

We recline against the headboard, dressed in far too much clothing as far as I’m concerned. I am at least stripped down to my shorts but M refuses to remove the gown. I think she’s embarrassed by the lack of undergarments that the bodice of the gown allowed for. Not that I haven’t been trying desperately to get her out of it. I wouldn’t let her leave the bedroom and surprised her with room service.

It’s already past noon. The two of us fell back to sleep after the late night intrusion from my now livid ex girlfriend.

I watch as M takes the sweet berry into her mouth. Her tongue swirls delicately around as she cleans my chocolate covered finger. I growl and lean down to lick the spot of chocolate off her cleavage. Her breasts begin to move as she giggles from the sensation.

“Considering the position we're currently in 007, I think you may call me Olivia. You do know that there is a perfectly good table we could be sitting at out in the suite.”

I continue to trail kisses from her chest up her neck. I notice with satisfaction that her breathing begins to change as I travel to her neck.

“Yes...I am well aware that there is a room out there...but there is no bed out there.” Her responses are arousing me as I continue my delicate exploration of her neck and earlobes.

“James.” She says in a breathless pant. The way she says it, practically sets me on fire.

“You…are so...very...soft...and beautiful M….Olivia...my love. I'm finished brunch but would love….my desert….now.” My small kisses, each punctuated by my words, move over her jaw to the side of her mouth. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly, her breathlessness evident as the tilt of her head brings her closer to my mouth.

“James…. I...we should….stop…wait...until we finish sorting things with Kincade and Madeleine.”

“Have my kisses addled you M? We dealt with her earlier this morning. And yes, I know that it’s likely going to bite me in the end.” M pulls away from my mouth as I try desperately to connect to her lips.

“Both of us likely, but we should get Kincade's and my children’s blessing, or at least their understanding.”

“Why, Olivia? I thought there was nothing between you and Kincade?”

“You came all this way to see him didn't you?”

“Yes, but that was before I rediscovered the love of my life. I don't want to see or hear from anyone for a week. I already paid for another night here and I for one do not want to leave this bed.” M frowns at me as she attempts to leave my clutches.

“James, do be reasonable. I for one could use a shower after yesterday. I was too bloody tired last night and what with the interruptions…”

“Yes and if I remember correctly, you and I were seeing where all the pent up passion was taking us twice, before being interrupted by Mallory on that ship and then Madeleine. M; I think we might be cursed or something.”

M laughs as she pulls away from my hand on her shoulder as she sits on the edge of the bed, “or something.” She says but I pull her back down dramatically into my arms and kiss her soundly. A leisurely kiss that goes on and explores her calmly. M seems reluctant to submit to hot and passionate, so I slow it down to entice her more gently.

It seems to be working as she moans into my mouth and puts her hand on the back of my neck. I maneuver so that I am hovering partially above her propped on one arm. My free hands begins caressing her hip and up her side. I pause with my thumb under the curve of her breast. I run my thumb over the breast and M breaks away breathlessly saying my name.

“James…” Christ I love it when she calls me James. It sounds so deep and seductive when she says it with her eyes full of desire and longing.

“Olivia. I would like to make love to you. Please say I can pleasure you.”

M smiles up at me and traces my face with her finger. She seems lost in her own world as she follows the trail of her finger around my face. It tickles and entices me as much as any sexual act ever could. The feeling of her nail tracing my skin into her memory.

“Is this even real?” She whispers to me as her finger continues to send shivers up my spine.

“Yes, this is real. This is true love between to battle worn fighters, who confound every other person we could possibly try to be in a relationship with.”

M looks taken aback at this and snaps out of the haze our physical kissing and exploration session.

“We are that. Quite poetic for a battle worn soldier, who barely even has to speak to seduce women to his bed.”

I frown down at her. “I will not do it again. I will not betray you, I promise. You and you alone own this heart and my tarnished soul. You can also have your way with me whenever your heart desires.”

“Oh, I can, can I? I don’t think you will be of much use to six if you cannot use your best weapons.”

“I can avoid doing the physical part that would not please you M. I sense that some of your trepidation, stems from my philandering ways, but I assure you that they were all just a means to an end.”

“What end, and what of Vesper?”

“The end was to please you M and Vesper was the only woman who came close to irritating me as much as my very sexy boss.”

“Olivia...stop calling me M. I finally remember my life, so please call me by my proper name. Now let me up to shower. It’s not that I don’t trust you James, but I really think there was more to Vesper and possibly Madeleine than you are letting on.”

“I wanted you, but couldn’t have you. What more is there to understand?”

“And you fell in love with those women and to say you didn’t is a lie.”

I palm my face in exasperation with the stubborn beauty beside me. “Fine. I loved them in my way, but that is completely different from the way I love you.”

I kiss her again to stop her from moving. She moans and begins to give as good as I am giving. Her hands are tracing circles on my back making shivers go up my spine yet again. Now it’s my turn to moan into her mouth. My arousal cannot be missed pushed up against her side. My hand moves over her breast and a sudden knock sounds at the door.

I pull away from her looking down at my rather prominent arousal and back to her. “You will need to answer that darling, but I will pull my trousers on and make sure I am behind the door in case of trouble.”

M sits up and moves to the suite as I pull clothing on and grab the gun Mallory left with me to protect us.

M moves to the door shaking her head in annoyance that is matched only by my own, as I quickly pull on my trousers.

A man speaks. “Hello Ma’am. I am agent Davies and here is your bag and agent Bond’s. Could you please tell 007 that his car is downstairs and we returned the car Ms. Swann drove here to Mr. Kincade on M’s order.”

“Thank you very much. Are you guarding us?”

“Yes until you leave the hotel and are on your way with agent Bond Ma’am. M has ordered us to watch for suspicious characters until that time.”

“Thank you and we will be leaving soon.” M closes the door and raises her eyebrow at me. “M must think Blofeld escaped.”

“Franz is one tricky bastard. I had a feeling I didn’t manage to shoot him back at his lair. I will not let him take you again M.”

“Olivia, James you need to stop that...and you have to return to work soon.”

“I will call you Olivia in public but in private you are my M. Now where were we?” I lean down and kiss her. M pulls away and grabs her bag. “I was on my way for a shower.”

“But M…” I know it sounds like a whine but I can’t help the pent up need that I feel. When will I get all of her. She’s still holding back. I keep breaking through a little bit here and there, but then she withdraws again. All these interruptions don’t help matters any. I may shoot the next person that gets between her and I and some quality alone time.

I go to the other bath and get cleaned up and changed. Perhaps we will return this evening to finish what we started. For now, I will let her say goodbye to the old man.

 

*****Olivia-M*****

I manage to escape his grasp only to be pulled back in several times. I’m still hesitant, and after the explosive dialogue with Madeleine my doubts resurface.

I stood up to her but then again, I would never give quarter to anyone, even without the memory of my job.

What she had to say hit home. What will people think? M seemed to receive us well but what of everyone else. What of my children?

I asked Tanner to inform Judi and Ryan of my survival. I will ask Bond to take me to York to see them before going to London. I will not make love to him until all this is settled. Which is far easier said than done. I know exactly why women will risk everything for some time in his arms after the last 24 hours.

Pondering my own future is odd. I never really thought about it before. That I had a future beyond the search for my lost self.

Sitting with Kincade as the days slipped past. Walking the hills with Finn and Sawyer. Oddly enough there was comfort in not knowing myself. I could forge a new path. I’m surprised that I didn’t fall for Kincade and I kept him at arm’s length. I must have somehow understood that I had deep feelings for another, albeit less appropriate man.

*****

Kincade is glad to see us and so are the dogs, they’re ecstatic I’m back. My purse remains on the table where I left it before the insane events yesterday.

“Madeleine spent some time here?” James asked him.

“Yes, she took me to hospital and made me dinner waiting for a call. She alerted Tanner using your mobile M. I take it, things didn’t go well when she ran into town.”

“No it didn’t.” I say to him my eyes obviously conveying more.

Kincade nods, “I warned her as much. So your memories were tripped by the lad?”

“Yes and I want to thank you for telling me to go forward and not look back when I did get them back.”

“Well I could tell there was something...or someone I suppose.” Kincade fidgets with his walking stick as he says this. It makes me feel awful that I cannot be what he wants me to be. This man deserves so much more than I could be for him.

Bond puts his arm around me and smiles. “I have to thank you for looking after her old man and you’re lucky I’m so happy she’s alive, that I don’t kill the lot of you for not telling me that she is.”

A sudden flash of fighting spirit returns to Kincade’s eyes. “What would you have done but pester the poor woman to death when she was recovering from that bullet for months.”

“True but I still feel angry at Tanner, he of all the people at work, knew how much M meant to me. I should have known...he seemed to recover so quickly from your death. I assumed it was just him wanting to keep his job, that he flipped to Mallory’s position as M so quickly.”

“Are you staying the night?” Kincade directs at me. I could not do that to the man after all that has past. There are only two rooms and there is no way James is willing to let me out of his sight, let alone arms.

“No we have a suite in town but we could all go take a walk around the old ruins before we leave.”

“Alright. I will get the dogs and my jacket.”

The three of us climb into Kincade’s Range Rover and go to the remains of Skyfall. Kincade and I have been here many times before but this is the first time James has done more than view it from the hill. The three of us walk around the ruins silently. The dogs bound and sniff what is left after the demolition crew MI6 sent did it’s job. Only the foundation remains. Apparently the salvaged stone sits at a nearby quarry awaiting James’ orders.

“What are you going to do with it lad?” Kincade asks.

“I’m not sure. Olivia, what do you think?”

“If you want you can rebuild. M told me that MI6 made sure the insurance company covered your losses.”

“I suppose I could build us a cottage.” Bond looks down on me and smiles.

“A cottage would be nice. Four bedrooms at least.”

“Why so many? We’re only two.”

“I have two children and three grandchildren who may like to visit from time to time.”

I can tell that James had not considered the fact that now that I am rejoining the living that a family may come with me. Although my relationship with my children has always been strained, and downright estranged since Nigel died, I love them with all my heart. My grandchildren hardly know me but I plan on rectifying that as soon as possible.

I will not begin this new relationship before I salvage ones from my past. I begin to feel worried that he may not have considered this and it does not fit in with the grandiose romantic plans he has for our future.

“You don’t mind do you?”

James can see that he has worried me. “No, M not at all. I would love to meet and become a part of your family.”

I can’t help but smile and turn to Kincade. “You’re also a part of this family so do you have any preferences about what James builds here?”

“Me? No lass. It will just be good to actually have people here. A home full of life after all the tragedy that this old pile has seen.”

My mobile rings suddenly. The number displayed is Tanner. “Hello Bill….yes. I see...should I call them...alright. Thank you for everything Bill. I will see you, Eve and Q when we get to London.”

James and Kincade wait for me to tell them as I have to smile at the somewhat panicked look on their faces. “Everything is fine. He and Eve accompanied Madeleine to your flat James and nothing burnt down. My son and daughter are awaiting my call, together at Judi’s house. Can I inform them that you will be bringing me to York tomorrow?”

“Certainly. Kincade and I will wander around making plans while you speak to them.”

*****

  
“Hello…”

_MUM! WHAT’S GOING ON!_

“Judi dear please stop yelling and just listen. I was grievously injured on a mission in Scotland. I woke in a hospital after a few weeks in a coma with no memory. You two both know what my job was? They informed you after my death correct...and the importance of secrecy to our work. Yes, well I stayed here and still couldn’t reclaim my former life. I healed over the course of 6 months from the bullet wound to my hip."

_Dear god...where were you staying?_

“With a dear friend.”

_A friend eh?_

“Yes, and someday I hope to bring you here to meet Kincade.”

_Mum...you were living with a man this last year in Scotland?_

“Yes. Is there something wrong with that?”

_Ah...no...not at all. It’s just…_

“Ryan we can discuss this all in person tomorrow. James and I will be driving down and be there by dinner likely.”

_James? Who is James?_

“James is...he is...one of my agents.”

I hear Judi scoff through the connection.

_Agent...sure. Ok...we will reserve...questions and judgement til then. I will make up the spare room for you and will James be staying?_

I can tell by the tone that this is not going to go well. “James will be staying in the same room as me.” I say challenging her to say anything on the subject.

_I see...well this will be an interesting dinner. Do you want our partners and kids there or will this be one of those occasions where dinner is really just a euphemism for fighting over food?_

“I think it should just be you and Ryan tomorrow and then I will let you reintroduce me to the rest of the family in the next month once I settle back in London. And what do you mean by that...fighting over food?”

_Come on mother I remember my childhood...do you?_

“Judi I do not want to discuss this now. I will see you both tomorrow. I had hopes it would be a joyful reunion but I will prepare myself for the inevitable drama.”

_Mother I think you being dismissive about this, will not help matters between you and Judi. The two of you have always clashed. I pity your poor man who is about to walk into this. We will see you tomorrow and drive safe._

“Thank you Ryan. I am looking forward to seeing both of you. Goodby.”

I look around to see Kincade and James coming at the edge of the drive waiting for me at the Range Rover. I can see the concern on James’ face as I come to them.

“Don’t ask. We have a long drive tomorrow to discuss it.”

 

*****007*****

 

We visit the Kirk on the way out. None of us speaks much as we stare down at the place M died in my arms. I still cannot fathom the type of hate that made Franz do this. All this mayhem from the time I finally made a 00 to her death. Thank God she lived! M beat the odds after all and now unfortunately if he does live, Blofeld knows this.

I never expected to be standing in this place again. The year I’ve had, has come full circle as the three of us stare at the dark stain on the stone floor.

Olivia is very quiet after her conversation with her children. I think that in my exuberance to begin a life with her, I forgot the obstacles we would have to overcome.

Kincade and Madeleine being the first hurdles. I can tell the old man is hurt, but happy that M is happy.

Madeleine is irate. The messages from Eve are telling. Tanner scooped up the china bulldog the moment he entered my flat with Madeleine and Eve. Eve oversaw her packing and had to endure ranting and the throwing of a few shoes. Apparently I owe her a nice bottle of wine for the treat of spending two hours with my ex after work hours.

Olivia and I bring Kincade into town for a night out. Nice restaurant and good wine. The old man says goodnight and leaves us to go back to the suite. I really wish I could entice her into more than another make out session but if she were more congenial she would not be M. It doesn’t mean I won’t try. It’s not in my nature, not to try.

“So you’ve finally managed to get me alone M...now whatever do you plan on doing with me?”

M scoffs, “James I told you. I will not rush into a physical relationship with you until all of these other components are dealt with. You have to meet my children tomorrow and then we can go to London and see Eve, Q, Tanner and M.”

“What do we need to see them for?”

“I want all loose ends dealt with and an update on Blofeld’s remaining operation. He obviously still has a wealthy and very intact network. I want to find out what 005 and 009 found out about his whereabouts.”

“Come, let’s go to bed.” I take her hand and lead her into the bedroom. I turn and close the door to see her looking at the floor shifting nervously. “M I will hold you tonight and every night from this day forward. So don’t worry about my intentions and my wayward hands, if you say no...you mean no and I will stop completely. I suppose I should say that I hope to hold you tightly every night, minus the nights I’m out of the country.”

M smiles at me and tilts her head. “I’m glad you understand James. It’s just that you burn so bloody hot that I worry, not just about you but if I can resist your temptation and remain unburnt.”

“M...I knew I was getting through to you! But don’t worry about me, I will kiss you only if you let me. I know that I will have to wait to enjoy all of you.”

It will be an early morning and a long drive to meet the Mansfield children. Not something I ever thought I would do outside her funeral. I kept my distance on that occasion. From what I saw her daughter looked just like her and I couldn’t handle that at the time. I kept my word and gave her the chastest of kisses before we snuggled down for the night.

*****

“Do you have to drive so…”

“Don’t say fast. I’m not that bad.”

“I was going to say erratically...jerky. This is not the most comfortable car in the world to ride in is she?”

“Not that again. Can’t my two best girls not respect and love each other and the way I handle you both.”

“Ha...you can barely manage to contain her and she’s a car. What hope do you have with me?”

I smirk at her as I overtake another slow moving vehicle. “I will handle you just fine once given the proper chance.”

“You think so do you?”

“M, I know so.” I wiggle my brow at her in and give her my best come hither smile.

“You’re pretty sure of yourself for a man who has never had a family and is just about to be thrown into the drama of one.”

“Yes, well I’m game for anything concerning you, so bring them on. Besides, I’m armed and dangerous.”

“That you are but do not bring a gun into my daughter’s house please. You will have to keep to the side initially while I deal with the inevitable battle and tears that will come with this reunion.”

“They can’t be all that bad M. I know they cried at your funeral. They missed you on some level.”

“I can never be sure. I had a large argument with my daughter when Nigel died. She blames me for a lot and she’s not wrong.”

“Blames you for what?”

“Nigel’s death among other things.”

“M; you didn’t...did you?” The overwhelming dread that she killed her husband comes immediately to mind.

“NO! How could you even suggest such a thing!”

“Well you are M. You could have...I mean if he ever hurt you M.”

“The only thing that man did to hurt me in the last 10 years was to die on me.”

I suddenly picture M with her husband lying across her naked body in bed, having collapsed on her. “On you? You don’t mean literally do you?”

“Bond! What on earth! Are you insinuating that I killed my husband during...or after...sex!”

“Well...It could happen and you are killer sexy.”

“Don’t try to salvage this...I did not kill my husband! He died in our flat of a heart attack after I left for work.”

“So how was that your fault?”

“If I didn’t work so much I could have been there to save him.”

“Oh, I see. Was it a history with him or were you wearing something provocative when you left that day?”

“Why do you insist that I caused it at all! I get that enough from my daughter I don’t need it from you.”

“Please don’t be angry with me love. I just can’t imagine him not being so enthralled with having you as a wife that it actually made his heart give out.”

“Nice try 007 but the damage is done.” M sits with her arms crossed shooting me that look that she usually gives me for blowing up something I wasn’t suppose to. “You said the last 10 years? What did you mean by that?

“What?”

“Nigel hadn’t done anything to hurt you in the last 10 years but die. He has been gone almost three years now but still you were married far longer than that.”

M stares out the window of the car suddenly very interested in the scenery. “Never mind.”

“M?”

“Leave it Bond. It’s ancient history.”

“Now I know I’m angering you. You stopped calling me James. Was it asking about Nigel or are you still angry I assumed you killed him with sex?”

“Drop it.”

“Alright.” We drive in silence for a good half an hour until she tells me to stop off at a rest area.

Once we return to the car I am tired of the silent treatment. “Please M. I said I was sorry and will not ask again if it angers you. I know you just had a flood of memories return, but some of your marriage and your children’s childhood must have been good.”

M sighs, “yes it was. I’m sorry Bond but it’s like losing him all over again, just with the return of my memory...of such grief.”

“Sorry darling, I will keep to safer topics until you are ready to share.”

“I don’t like to rehash old hurts James and you will likely hear a good enough portion of the tale once we get to York.”

To be continued...


	10. York to London

 

***** Olivia-M*****

James means well, but he can be such a flippant annoyance at times. I am beginning to stress over this evening with the children. Judi can be an incredible bitch at times. Thank god for my dear boy Ryan and his level headed ways. He’s so much like his father, and that is both wonderful and bittersweet. Thankfully, it will just be the two of them to introduce James to at first. I already warned them that he is more or less my lover. Hopefully, they will have worked their heads around this startling revelation over the last 24 hours.

We pull into the drive by five and Judi and Ryan come out to meet us. They are shocked to say the least. The two of them are completely overwhelmed by me standing alive before them, not to mention James and the car.

“Mum.” Judi says as she looks hesitant about hugging me. She keeps taking sly glances at Bond but she does suddenly give me a hug.

Ryan smiles and picks me up swinging me about. He has loved doing that since he overcame me in height. “Mum, I’m so glad you’re alive!” He says.

James watches the area for any danger as he grabs the bags from the car and stands to the side awaiting introductions.

“Ryan and Judi, this is James Bond and he saved my life, in more ways than one.”

Ryan shakes his hand first and Judi grasps his hand suspiciously after and says. “You’re my mother’s friend and...and...lover?”

“You could say that, but not quite her lover yet. She keeps saying no.” Bond responds with a smirk. Judi laughs suddenly but Ryan frowns.

“Judi why so crude?”

“Come on Ryan, he’s like a supermodel, I had to ask. What do you see in our old mum?”

“Everything.”

“Judi shakes her head as Ryan grabs the bags, as he leads them inside the house. They point out the amenities and put the kettle on. The smell of a casserole in the oven dominates the room.

“Smells wonderful dear. How are the kids?” I ask trying to get to neutral ground.

“They are good mum but I don’t know how to explain that you live, or if I even want too.”

“Jude.” Ryan says peeved. “Mum I am happy you’re fine and Tanner said you had amnesia? Did that have something to do with the explosions in London and Scotland?”

“Yes, I was shot in Scotland and fell into a comma. But we will discuss this all over dinner. I want to know about your lives and about the children.”

Ryan goes first, telling all about everything that has gone on the last year. The changes that happened once everyone knew that I was the head of MI6.

Judi tells us of all the accomplishments the children are having in sport and school. Ryan busies himself with the tea as Judi finishes off the dinner. I help set the table with James after we have a cup. Judi brings two bottles of wine in to help make dinner pass more evenly.

Over dinner I explain what happened and Bond tells them both about his time working for me. They are enthralled by his stories and the glimpse he gives of me at work. I think they are still in shock to learn, exactly what it was I did for all of their lives.

Unfortunately, I do have to taint their sainted view of their father to explain some of my longer absences. I notice that Bond listens to my tale of Nigel’s infidelity and how it almost ruined me and our family on more than one occasion.

I think James now has a clearer understanding of why I cannot cope with the thought of him cheating, yet he may very well have to for work. I still don’t know if I can do it to be honest.

More than a few tears are shed over the course of the evening as they explain how they always felt left out, but now that they know, they’re proud of me. I never thought I would ever have a chance to have this conversation with my children. It leaves me more than a little teary eyed.

Now James has seen two emotional collapses within only a few days. After years of being the Queen of Ice and Numbers, I am now nothing more than a old women dealing with her past.

Ryan and Judi even handled the fact that James and I would share a bed as the evening wore down. I can tell Ryan is not happy about it, but that it amuses my daughter to no end.

Judi just shakes her head at me as we cleaned up from dinner.

“My god he’s so hot mum!”

“I know.” Is all I can say, as I giggle with her over the sink full of dishes.

This is the first time I can remember that I have managed to bond with her since she was in her troublesome teen years. Just the two of us here sharing stories while doing the dishes.

Judi is full of questions about Bond and his profession and the fact he was in love with me. Her eyes go wide with some of the stories I tell her of managing the 00 programme and what it entails. I skirt the details but the core is the truth of what was hidden from their lives for so long.

I think that what impresses her the most is that I had such power within the government and all the time she thought I was a controlling bitch just to torture her. The difference is that now that they know, they are allowed to be proud of my accomplishments. After all this time the lies are gone. They both wondered why Nigel put up with everything he did, and why my work was so important to me.

Ryan is the quiet one and I worry. James took him out for a walk after dinner to talk, while Judi and I tidied up. When they came back he wrapped me in a big hug. After that he was not so upset that this man, only slightly older than him, would be sharing my bed and that I had moved on from his father.

*****

  
We got up early and sat together at the breakfast table. I warn them that if they see any black cars at the end of the drive that they are agents for their protection. I warn them about Blofeld, a man with a scar, who may be looking to harm me. Should anything happen, that they are to watch the children carefully.

“I love both of you so much. Be observant of your surroundings at all times. Do you all have passports?” They both nod at me. “Good keep them up to date.”

“Any other instructions?” Judi asks with a smile.

“As a matter of fact yes I do. Keep a mix of cash on hand and should we ever call you, or Tanner, Q, Eve or M do exactly as you’re told.” I point to James as another contact. They’ve already exchanged mobile numbers.

“The safe word is Bunny, as if it were a nickname or something. I will give you this at the beginning of any communication. If I give you strange orders and do not use the safe word get the children and your passports and go to the Bahamas. There is a beach house I purchased for your father and my retirement many years ago.”

I hand them both a card that I wrote information on for both of them. “Go to this address and tell them who you are and they have a key and instructions to let the two of you have access and watch over you until the proper time.”

We walk out into the drive to begin the long journey to London.

“How long have you had these plans mum?” Judi asks.

“Since I became M almost 19 years ago.” I smile at them and turn to get in the car. Judi rushes and pulls me into a sudden hug. “Thank you mum and I’m...sorry.”

“Don’t be dear. You were right to feel left out and I do, and will regret that for the rest of my life.”

Ryan hugs the two of us. “Thank God you’ve come back to us mum. The kids will be so excited. The two of us have remained as quiet as possible regarding questions about your job after the news broke, but there have been a lot of interested parties. My in-laws were gob-smacked!”

“Now if it does surface publically that I live, you must remain silent and avoid cameras if you can. I don’t know what details you want to tell your spouses, that is up to you. It will be better for all concerned if it’s kept quiet.”

“We will mum.” They both say as I finally pull away. James wraps Judi in an embrace that leaves my daughter somewhat flushed as I chuckle at her reaction.

Ryan shakes his hand,”keep guard over our mum. Oh, and welcome to the family. I have no idea how we are going to explain you, but welcome anyway James.”

“Thank you and I will guard your mother with my life. You and your families too, if the need arises.”

“James don’t worry me like that. They will stay far away from our lives. I don’t want anything or anyone to come near here. I will ask M to alert the local office to be alert and cautious.”

“Safe drive Mum, and thanks for making us really paranoid about taking a walk or going to the shops.” Judi says rolling her eyes as I climb into the DB5.

*****

We make our way back to London. It has been so long since I’ve been home and I’m excited but nervous about moving this fast and staying with James. Tanner calls for his daily check in, on our drive towards home.

_M, Bond how are you?_

“We’re fine Mr. Tanner. It’s still nice to hear from you Bill but you don’t need to check up on me everyday now that I’m well.”

We hear him chuckle over the speaker. _Habit M. I am so use to calling you to make sure that you’re fine._

“I’m here for that now Tanner and I can assure you that M is just fine.”

_Bond it’s not that I don’t trust you, but I will be calling her to make sure. Besides you’re not the only one who cares. I’ve been watching over Olivia for over a year now._

“Yes and Blofeld escapes and kidnaps her.”

_That was unforeseen and I did call for another reason, Q found a computer analyst that escaped the purge of MI5 employees who is responsible for digging up Olivia’s whereabouts. They were monitoring my calls north and those of M’s. It appears that they hacked into the hospital’s files and Blofeld extrapolated from there who our mystery woman is. Unfortunately, Blofeld’s body was not found in the wreckage of that Island base. The Faroese authorities were quick to cover up any wrongdoing by leasing to Spectre and have cleared the site not allowing us in to take a look first._

“I will be taking M to my flat tonight Tanner. Why don’t you bring Q and Moneypenny over for breakfast by 7:30. She is dying to see you.”

“Yes Tanner, I want to thank you for all you did and tried to do to help me over the last year.”

_I will ask the others and M, I could do no less for you. We did miss you terribly while you were gone._

“Thank you Bill and remember, it’s Olivia. Having two Ms is far too confusing.”

_How did Ryan and Judi take meeting Bond?_

“They liked me just fine Tanner although Ryan was not amused we stayed in the same room. Judi liked me...I could tell.”

“James you better not be flirting with my daughter, just to get her to like you.”

_They were both so excited when I told them the truth but then it quickly turned to anger at being deceived by us. I don’t mind taking the blame if it takes the heat off the two of you._

“No need Bill. We worked through much of it last night and this morning. I will get reintroduced to the grandchildren next month.”

_Glad to hear it Olivia. Safe travels and we will see you tomorrow morning. We can then bring you into see the new operation._

“I look forward to it Bill.”

“Oh and Tanner thanks for saving Jack from Madeleine’s rage.”

_You owe us for that one Bond._

“Why do you think I invited you for breakfast?”

_It may take more than that. I will let you deal with Eve. Goodbye._

We drive towards Bond’s flat. We pick up take away and sit in his rather barren living room to eat. I don’t feel very comfortable here...I can still smell Madeleine everywhere.

“M, I think we need to house hunt. I am not overly stuck on this flat and I know by the look on your face that you would rather sleep in a hotel than here.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yes.”

“Why don’t we take Mallory up on his offer and take a look at that safe house tomorrow?”

“Fine idea. I was hoping that you and I could finally get closer, but I can tell that the recent departure of Madeleine has got you pulling back again.”

“Yes, you’re right James. I am. You understand don’t you?”

James takes my hand in his. “I understand M. It’s sudden I know. It’s just...I’ve been pining for you for so long...I know you didn’t realize that, but it’s true.”

“I would like to visit MI6 tomorrow and then perhaps if we can settle on the house, then we can begin to move forward.”

I can see the impatience in his eyes but perhaps this wait will be good for James. It’s doubtful that he has ever had to wait for a woman long, but then I’m not his normal fare.

He covers his disappointment with a charming smile. “Let’s go to sleep. I will just have to be content holding you close again.”

*****007*****

M’s trying to adjust to her new circumstances but I can see that it’s stressful for her. I imagine that a year in Scotland just dealing with having no memory did not prepare for the sudden deluge of people, places and things she would have to maneuver around once they returned. Having me pester her for sex will not help matters any.

No, the physical aspect of this relationship will have to wait until she is good and ready. I want her fully involved with our lovemaking when it does happen.

I have to speak with Mallory about the job. I will learn how to function as a 00 agent without seducing marks into my bed for information. I know that the logical part of M wants me to accomplish the job by all mean necessary, but the woman part of her has been burned by infidelity before and doesn’t want to live through that again. I care more than enough, that I don’t want to put her through that again.

I wake early and take a run before stopping at a market and picking up food for breakfast. M looked so cute curled up in my duvet that I almost couldn’t leave the room. I have to admit that just holding her close at night gave me a better night sleep than I could have imagined.

As I make my way back to the flat I notice a black car following me. I’m not armed other than two bags of groceries. I speed up heading around the last corner to my flat when I see the familiar company car.

Thank god, Tanner’s early. I see Eve and Q get out the passenger side first as I run up to Q thrusting the groceries into his hands.

I toss Eve a set of keys, “Eve are you armed?” She nods to me. “See to M. Tanner a black car followed me home.” Tanner was part way out of the car and looks concerned, as he climbs back in. I hop in beside him as he pulls out to follow the mysterious black audi. “Does six have eyes on my flat?”

“No. I’ll call it in.” Tanner hits a button on his mobile. _Yes do we have a car at 007’s flat? If not I need back up there immediately. Moneypenny and Q are on the scene._

“There it is in the left lane.” Tanner pulls towards the Audi only two places behind. “So much for an enjoyable breakfast. I’m just glad you were early.”

“Eve’s excited to see Olivia again. Who do we think it is, Blofeld?”

“Yes or someone hired by him.” The traffic begins moving again as Tanner manages to pull alongside the vehicle. The back window suddenly moves down giving us just a glimpse of the scarred visage of a man I want dead more than anyone in this world.

“Franz!”

I take Tanner’s gun as Franz smiles at me and rolls up the window. The car suddenly darts forward and crossed traffic the wrong way accelerating away.

“Tanner! Follow him!”

A call comes in and I hit answer. Q is on the line in a panic. “Bond! There is someone in the flat with M! Moneypenny is taking fire from guards in the hall!”

“Damn it! Q, Tanner has backup on the way! Tanner go!”

“What do you want me to do Bond? Go where? Do I let Blofeld get away or let Eve and MI6 take care of M?”

Although it kills me, Tanner’s right. M would hate that I let him out of my sights. “Follow him!”

I open the glove box and pull out extra clips. “Let’s deal with him fast. I need to get back to M!”

Tanner does his best to drive after him hitting the emergency light on the car making others give way. I hang out the car window and begin shooting at the tires. I shoot out the back window and see Franz’s head turn back and look at me in shock. He thought I would run back to M. He understands nothing of that woman. She would be angered by the mere suggestion that I would chose her over my quarry.

I hold on for dear life as Tanner takes another corner and barely misses a Royale Mail lorry. I unload almost all the bullets and stop.

I need a few for Franz and the driver. As we whip through an intersection we get broadsided by another car. It hit the rear driver side and pushes us into a spin.

Once we stop I look at Tanner who is slightly stunned but still conscious. I hop out of the car and start running in the direction of Franz.

The traffic is now stopped dead through the intersection. Franz has stopped beyond the blocked cars, yet there is no traffic blocking him from getting away from me.

I begin to pick my way over honking cars and pull the gun up to take a shot. I know this is dangerous with so many around, but I need this to end with him in a pool of blood at my feet.

I can see Franz looking at me across the blockage holding a mobile up to his ear. My mobile suddenly rings. I answer.

_James...James...James. Here you are causing all this ruckus in London morning traffic when you haven’t even considered my White Queen is about to take your Queen M. What is it they say about a woman scorned?_

“Franz, how’s that knife wound to your arm? I will get you piece by piece Franz. I will pay you back for all you’ve done and taken from me.”

I hear him laugh and say... _coo coo...That may be James Bond, but that day is not today._

I turn back towards Tanner and the car and run. The sound of Blofeld’s laughter still ringing in my ears.

To be continued...


	11. Delayed Breakfast

 

*****Olivia-M*****

I reach across the bed for James to find his side of the bed empty and cold. I look around confused by my surroundings but with that momentary panic that comes with the disorientation of not knowing where one is.

I’m in James’ flat in London. I breath a sigh of relief as I stare at the ceiling for a moment. The room takes on an entirely different feel in daylight. The masculine gray of the walls and the pristine white of the patterned high ceiling give it a nice cool appeal. One that I had not noticed under the yellow glow of the lamp the night before. I recall my nervousness from the evening before. Knowing that I am occupying a spot his recent lover was forcibly vacated from only yesterday.

I wonder where Madeleine is? If she returned to the clinic she worked for in Switzerland or if she went to her old flat? The bedding still smells of a floral perfume or body wash that she must have used. I get up and look in the closet to find another set of bedding. I find another set of sheets, blue in colour and I proceed to change the bedding. The two of us were so exhausted last night that we merely fell into bed.

I am truly amazed at how quickly I’ve acclimated to James sleeping with me. His warmth is so reassuring against me. It has been years since I’ve shared a bed with anyone, let alone a lover. I am coming to terms with the fact that the two of us are headed in that direction also. It makes my heart flutter and my palms sweat like a teen just thinking about him. Christ I have it bad...and at my age!

James has likely gone for food for the breakfast they’re hosting for the team from MI6 minus Mallory. He promised not to hit the man, but it doesn’t mean that their relationship will be strained after this. Tanner he will forgive, for just acting under orders. Even then, who's to say that Tanner will escape without a jab or two for his part in hiding me.

I get up and have a shower. I search through my luggage for appropriate business attire for the day. I want to look the part, as I make my way to the new MI6. James will likely return soon.

It’s surreal to me that I am currently living with James Bond. How did this even come to be? I guess I just stopped fighting the irresistible pull of the man. Why not...he is no longer my employee and I’ve always felt this attraction.

Bond wasn’t letting me out of his sight once we kissed in Blofeld’s lair. I felt such passion burst from within myself as well as from him. I was not kidding when I told him that he burned too hot.

My children are on board with this near relationship, about as much as they can be. I don’t need their approval but it will be better if they get along with Bond. James has been very important to me these last years, as much as Tanner. I appreciate all that Bill has done for me in the last year. Maybe he can help keep James from killing Mallory and get him to call him M again.

I hear the door to the flat as I finish putting on my make up. The bedroom door swings open as I turn to smile at him.

My smile fades quickly as I see the gun pointed at me in the hands of Madeleine Swann. I stand slowly and look at the woman. I may only have seconds before she shoots me or does she want something else? The moments stretch as the rapid beating of my heart increases.

“Madeleine. So nice to see you again.” I manage as neutrally as possible.

“M; I see you’ve made yourself comfortable in my bed.”

“We arrived last night and yes I slept here.”

“You just walk in and take everything that was mine, not even giving a thought to how I feel about it.”

“No; no that’s not true at all. I gave it far more thought than you can imagine. I told him to make a conscientious and clean break with you before we start anything. James complained, but he agreed. Your impatience was your undoing. Rather than waiting for him to come to you to explain his feelings, you rushed in trying to force him to commit to a relationship only weeks old compared to our history. That is what made this a nasty mess.”

“So it’s my fault you stole my man and it looks like you more than started something with him. How deluded do you think I am. I am not one of your agents that you can just order away and have it obeyed without question.” Madeleine looks to the bed’s messy covers and back at me with a sneer.

I move towards her as she tenses. “Let’s go have some tea. You may have come to kill me but you haven’t yet, so you either are not committed to that line of action, or you’re waiting for something or someone. Either option; I could do with some tea.”

“Fine but when he returns he will chose me.”

We walk out into the living area and I move to the kitchen. Having not been here before last night, I look at her with a questioning look.

“Of all the! Fine! I will make it since I know where everything is.” Madeleine keeps a hold on her pistol as she pulls the kettle out and hands it to me. If it wasn’t so serious I would laugh at the two of us in this predicament.

I fill the kettle and put it on to boil as I get the teapot out and prepare a tray with her help. I hear some commotion at the door.

“Looks like James has returned.” I bring the tray out to the table in the corner as there is a scuffle in the hall outside the flat. Followed by two loud pops. I know the sound of gunshots when I hear them. It sounds like James has returned.

“Who was in the hall?” I ask her confused.

“Blofeld’s men. They are to bring you to him, but I haven’t decided if I will I let you live. If James chooses wisely, you will and then you will go to Blofeld. I don’t see what these men see in a wrinkled old crone like you but...he wants you and he helped me return. I owe him.”

The key turns the lock to reveal a very angry Eve Moneypenny whose eyes go wide as she points her gun at Madeleine. Madeleine responds by putting her gun against my temple.

“Everyone calm down. Eve could you please lower your pistol. Where is James?”

“Yes, where is my dear James?” Madeleine asks. Q comes walking in the room cautiously looking at the scene.

“Q would you be a dear and take those bags into the kitchen and away.” I ask him to get him out of the line of fire.

“Yes ma’am. Very good to see you well,” he says as he looks cautiously at Madeleine.

“Just don’t do anything stupid and she may stay that way.”

Eve lowers her gun but her posture is still cautious and alert. “James tossed us the bags and went after a car with Tanner. He said that he was being followed.”

Right away I can tell that this does not please Madeleine. “James is following Blofeld isn’t he Madeleine?”

“Damn it! You will all stay here until he returns!” Madeleine takes out a mobile to speak with someone, likely Blofeld. “You said he was mine. I have her if you come back I will give her to you...what! That is not what we agreed!” She hangs up in a fury.

“I’m hungry dear and I promised these guests breakfast. Why don’t you give Eve the gun and I will make us something. You must realize that MI6 is on the way and I don’t take you for a killer. We can talk this out calmly and rationally and come to a solution.” I hand a cup of tea to Eve and one for Madeleine I place in front of her.

“You.” Madeleine says to Eve. “Go make breakfast with the computer wiz. I will have a gun on her the entire time so don’t try anything stupid. You can all go once James comes away with me. We will never come back to Britain and you will all live so there is no reason to come look for us.”

I hand a cup of tea for Q to Eve and shew her into the kitchen. Madeleine and I sit back down. I sip my tea as I look at her and she glares at me. The poor woman is delusional and lovesick. Look how well his charms work. I said that to him years ago. They take hard working independent women and make them into this, or get them killed.

What will he do to me? Or what will we do to each other? This is far from a normal relationship for either of us. Can my age and experience control whatever it is nature gave Bond, that makes women do desperate things. Can I temper his soul while keeping my identity intact? What happens when he does leave me? I can’t imagine him not. Five, ten years at most. I’m spiralling. I know it. Madeleine is sitting here with a gun pointed at me, while waiting for the man who holds both our fates in his smile.

One ace up my sleeve is that she has not bothered to check on Q and Eve is still armed.

“Madeleine I know you’re a doctor of human nature, so what do you think is happening now?”

“I know how desperate this looks, but I am convinced you bewitched him somehow.”

“From Scotland with no memory? How on earth was I able to do that?”

“No when he was younger. Don’t you see. You imprinted on him the mother figure and father figure he lost as a child. You were both and disciplinarian and reward for a job well done. He did everything for you! Not the Queen and not the Country, you!”

“I thought it was the thrill of the job, it was not anything to do with me. Bond loved being out in the field and was usually not happy to be reigned in and asked to come home. We saw each other for mission briefings only. I think it’s a bit of a stretch to assume me in a parental role.”

“No, he needs you deeply and it turned sexual at some point. Think on it and you will know exactly when...a look...a glance or something he said to you. It all started at some point. At first it would just be an aside, nothing serious but then after a trigger, perhaps the death of Vesper did it change between you? I don’t know the answer but I think you do.”

I think about my interactions with Bond and damn her...she could be right.

Eve calls from the kitchen that breakfast is almost ready. I take it from that that MI6 has arrived and this will all end soon. A pit forms in my stomach as I think of what that may mean for one or more of us. Will she cross that line and shoot me or will she wait for Bond and try to take him from me?

I will let him go. We’ve done nothing but share a bed and a few passionate interludes. It may be better if he does go with her and find her some help. I’ve nothing against the girl but she does need help. James Bond’s crushed her.

Eve comes into the room with a plate piled with pastries and toasted bread with butter and jam on the side. She places it in front of us and then walks quickly back into the kitchen.

“I will go help with the rest.” I stand and Madeleine gets up and grabs my arm angrily. “No!”

The door to the flat opens suddenly with Bond coming in followed by Tanner with weapons drawn. James is wearing his workout clothes all sweaty and ready for more of a fight.

I stand between Madeline and James and it’s not the safest place to be. Bond looks at me and his face says it all. His love for me will enrage and destroy her.

Madeleine screams at him. “How could you choose her! Why!? Come with me to Europe and we can be free from her!”

“No, Madeleine. It has always been her. I’ve never wanted a woman more and I will not leave her now that I’ve found her again.”

“Bastard!” Madeleine pulls her gun up and aims it, I close my eyes as I hear the shot. It couldn’t have been James or Tanner because I am between them and Madeleine. I don’t feel the piercing heat of pain as it pierces my skin. I look to the entrance of the kitchen to see Eve Moneypenny with a gun smoking in her hand.

Madeleine is moaning and shaking her hand. The gun is across on the floor as Tanner moves to pick it up. Bond has me wrapped in his arms instantly.

Madeleine stands slowly. “I hate you both. Blofeld will get me out of whatever hole you put me in. He wants her for himself James and he will not stop until he takes her from you! I would rather she die in your arms again, but we’ll have to see.”

Her hand is not bleeding so Eve must have literally shot the gun from her hand.

“Not if we bury you deep enough.” Eve snarls at her.

“Oh and here I thought we were friends Eve?”

“You could have been if you didn’t try to kill a woman I admire and look up too.” Eve moves towards the unarmed Madeleine. Q enters the room.

“Does she have you all twisted around her finger?”

Tanner nods. “Yes. You need to learn a lot about loyalty Ms. Swann.”

James faces Madeleine while still holding me against him. He speaks to her over my shoulder.

“I did love you.”

“But what? It wasn’t enough? I wasn’t her! The old bitch who controls you as a surrogate parent! You and Franz are the same demented person! He killed his father to be born again, but to sleep with the embodiment of his mother he will take yours. You want to sleep with your mother and I warn you, now that he’s met her, so does Blofeld. I told you I didn’t want a killer! You kept after me and now you just toss me away for the old woman!”

Madeleine suddenly grabs the butter knife off the tray Eve brought in earlier and lunges towards me. James tries to turn me away and take the hit when a sudden hand appears, grabbing the wrist of her knife hand and twisting it behind her back.

Tanner was standing to the side of James when he darted out and disarmed Madeleine from stabbing James or myself.

Madeleine is screaming in anger. Tear flooding from her crazed eyes as she struggles against Bill. I move away from James as she breaks free again to attack him with her bare hands.

I don’t really remember what happened after that. All that I do know, is that time seemed to stop, as my right hand darted out and connected with a satisfying crunch against her nose.

I swear I shocked myself completely. I’ve never punched anyone in my life. My hand hurts as the rest look on with mouths gaping open as Madeleine now sits on the floor holding her nose, as her eyes water and her nose bleeds.

“Don’t you dare come near him again!”

I shake my hand as James takes it in one of his and puts his other hand on my hip holding me close.

“M my little slugger.” He beams at me in delight for my physical defence of him. I pull away wrinkling my nose at the smell of him after his run.

“Well I can’t let you have all the fun.” They all start laughing and Tanner pulls Madeleine up, dragging her to the door. Tanner hands over to one of MI6’s men that have arrived and removed the bodies from the corridor. “Take her to the cells and get a doctor to look at her.”

The five of us now stand in Bond living room looking at each other. “I’m starved.” I say as they begin laughing again.

“I should shower.”

Eve hits James in the arm. “No, breakfast is ready, After all Q and I had to do to cook it. All after taking out Blofeld’s guards and your deranged ex girlfriend.”

“That was you Eve but I did most of the cooking.” Q says as he walks back towards the kitchen.

Eve follows Q into the kitchen and start bringing plates of fruit and eggs out. Tanner and I begin to arrange chairs around the coffee table and James darts into the kitchen to return a few minutes later with champagne and orange juice.

“This is honestly the most interesting breakfast I’ve ever had. Will the two of you always host such exciting parties?” Q asks and then sips his mimosa.

“Tanner did you tell M we would be late?” Eve asks.

“Yes and he has men tracking down Blofeld as we speak. Do you think Madeleine was suppose to kidnap you Olivia or was it something else?”

“I think she wanted me dead and James to run away with her. I think the men with her, were to bring me to Blofeld if not James also.”

Q’s mobile buzzes as he frowns. “They found Blofeld’s car at a field where a helicopter took off towards the channel. Unfortunately he’s in the wind again. He didn’t wait for Madeleine?”

“No because Tanner and I made him run. If I hadn’t noticed he may have waited outside. As it was Eve took out his men so once there was no contact he fled like the coward he is.” James says.

“I doubt he will be back to Britain anytime soon. Interpol and every SIS agency in Europe will be watching for him.” Q looks at his mobile suddenly. “M just sent out the notice.”

“Blofeld will lick his wounds and be back.”

I frown at Bond. “Why do you say that?”

“He always did hate to lose. He lost his White Queen and you. He will be back for one or both of you. I will make sure that it never happens.” James looks at me intently as he takes my hand in his. “What will we do with my ex girlfriend? If we let her go she will just join Blofeld.”

“Good, let her.” I say as they all look at me in surprise. “Q you can inject her with that smart blood, James told me about and we will track her to him.”

“Once M, always M.” Tanner says with a smile, as he pulls me away from Bond and hugs me suddenly.

Bond pulls his shoulder, “hey now Tanner. Hands off, she’s mine!”

I turn in Bill’s arms and look at James. “But he smells so much better than you do at this moment 007.”

“Thank you Olivia. Oh and here is Jack back Bond.” Tanner pulls a box out of the pocket of his overcoat and places it on the table with his arm still around me securely as he smirks at James.

James shoots a withering look at Tanner as he opens the box holding his beloved figurine.

Eve starts to laugh and pushes James towards the hall to prevent the inevitable tug of war with me in the middle. “Well we can clean up while you shower and get ready James.” Eve says as she escorts him out of arm’s reach of Bill Tanner.

Eve and then I begin to pile up and bring all the plates to the kitchen. James leaves reluctantly, standing still in the hall shooting glares at Tanner before finally turning and going to the bedroom to clean up.

“I am so glad you’re fine M.” Q and Eve both say.

“Thank you and so am I. I’m very grateful to you Bill. For preventing a stabbing, and all the calls to check on me over the last year. You tried so hard to help me remember my life and I looked forward to your calls so much that Kincade started to think we were a secret couple.”

Tanner blushes as he wipes the last dish and Eve laughs at him. “Well he has always been your biggest fan M...I mean Olivia.”

“Yes you must all call me Olivia. I’m a civilian now. The three of you get into work. James and I will follow. You will not be too late and have to deal with words from your evil boss that way.”

Eve winks at me as Tanner and Q leave the flat. “Nothing like a couple of near death experiences to put life into perspective. We will not expect you for a couple of hours Olivia.”

“Eve...really. What is it you expect will happen? I told him I needed to accomplish some important reintroductions first.” I say as innocently as I can manage.

“If I’m not mistaken you’ve done that now. If you’ve been waiting for a good opportunity, then I say jump him now ma’am.” I smile as I close the door on Eve, locking it securely.

I turn and look towards the bedroom my mind made up.

I unbutton my blazer and toss it on a chair. I head back into the bedroom and move to the bath. Opening the door, the steam engulfs me as I move towards the shower door. I open it, as a surprised and soapy James Bond looks at me with a sudden smirk.

It’s far time to begin this, as I take in his body all hard muscles and glistening wet. I move to unbutton my blouse, but a wet hand stops me.

“No. I need to unwrap you myself...my love.”

James turns the shower off, as I reach for a towel to hand him. He runs it over his short cropped hair and pats a delectable trail across his sculpted chest and lower...

All the while keeping his gorgeous blue eyes locked on my face, which I notice once my eyes finish their travels down the path of his lucky towel.

“I won’t say no my dear boy.” I say with a wink and a smirk of my own.

And with that my fate concerning James Bond is sealed. I am not M, it’s no longer inappropriate and if anything this is all well overdue. I do remember the exact moment he looked at me like he wanted something more. Standing in Siberia with the snow coming down.

“Bond; I need you back.” I say to him in a whisper, wondering if he will understand.

James looks momentarily confused but responds, “I never left. What I should have said to you, after tossing Vesper’s necklace to the ground, was that I never left you M. Then I should have kissed you soundly, even though you were married.”

The look he gives me, creates the feeling of butterflies, fluttering throughout my body. James Bond leans forward and his warm lips meet mine...

Two hours may not be long enough…


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to take so long to come up with a epilogue.
> 
> I felt like Olivia and James needed a little something extra.

 

“Oh...my...oh...god!”

“I told you...it would be good.  Slow down...argh...M!”

 “So hot...my god...but so good!  More...yes...yes...please...more.”

 “Christ woman, you will be the death of me yet.  Slow down or it will will finish too fast...we have all night...that’s it...let’s cool down...”

 “You don’t think...that...that...I can take it?”

 “Dear god...M...careful...I don’t want...to have to use CPR.”

 “Oh...don’t you?”

“Minx...slow down...arghhh.”

“Maybe...I’ll have...to...perform the CPR on...you James.”

“Anytime...your lips are on mine I’m happy.  I would die happy...under...or over you...M.  More?  My god woman...you...are incredible at this.  I always...knew...you could...handle your own, but...this much...you amaze me.  I need to slow down...take a break.”

“Slowing...down...in your old age 007?  I thought you could handle...you know...stand...the heat?  You claimed you could...come on...if I can take it…you...can.”

“More M?  You...need more already?”

“Yes!  Yes...give it to me now!”

“Where are your manners...M...I would have thought...you had some...til now.  Wait for it...slow down M...or someone will get hurt.”

“Now 007...or I will....I will make M fire you.  Give it to me now!”

 **_Bond_ ** _!_ **_I know that this may be too much to ask under the circumstances, but do you at least have eyes on your mark?_ **

“Ah...Q...yes I do have eyes on more than the delectable woman who sits across from me currently turning several shades of red.  She has a comm on also Q...so continue.”

_Yes...sorry ma’am._

 “Yes...Q I can hear you and the man we are here to follow is at the bar with a young woman.  Where is Mr. Tanner?”

  _I’m sorry ma’am but he had to leave the room...he...was blushing too much...to listen further._

 “Why?”

  _Um...I don’t know if you realize ma’am but...it sounded quite like you and Bond were...engaging in something...other than eating._

 “M, relax...this always goes better if you relax.”

 “Oh...damn!  And that’s bloody well going to help matters how Bond?  I’m sorry Q.  I didn’t realize...it’s just I needed water and more beer...the food is delicious but so very spicy.”

  _I gathered that ma’am.  There was not enough panting from Bond to think otherwise._

 “Ha, ha Q, how droll.  Keep these comms on later and we’ll see who’s blushing when that happens.”

 “Bond!  You will do no such thing!”

  _Don’t worry ma’am.  I can disconnect manually for the five or less minutes Bond will...manage...to...well..._

 Olivia begins to shake with laughter which makes me growl.  I suddenly see the mark look at his mobile while standing up from his seat at the bar.  

 Here I wanted to take M away to Southeast Asia on a romantic private vacation.  Then this mission came up and M decided it would do them good for us to work this mission together.  

 I hate having her anywhere near any danger, but I thinks M is beginning to enjoy the thrill of an agent’s life.  The flashy cars, boats and luxury hotel rooms are an added bonus...as well as the company.  It took me over 6 years to tell this woman how I feel about her but now...  

 Now here we are retired and yet, working a job for MI6.  I was going to say no to Mallory’s request. However, the bewitching way with which M convinced me...made my mind wander and **_yes_ ** was the only thing I could say over and over and over again.

 Damn she’s distracting!  We’re just out having dinner and watching our mark and his young woman.  003 is nearby for the dirty parts, because I will not have M in the line of fire.

 “You miss it don’t you?” M says as she watches me study the couple at the bar.

 “No...what I miss is our bed and I plan for us to return to it very soon.”

 “Admit it, it won’t kill you to say that you miss the action.  You miss being on the job.”

 I smirk at her.  “The only action I miss is what I have planned for you once I pay this bill.”

  ** _Dear god...Bond...still here remember!_**

 “Good maybe you’ll learn something Q.”

  _You really need to work on you lines.  Seriously ma’am no offence, but how can you deal with that...with him?_

 “Years of practice Q and yes, I always did shake my head at the lines he uses on women and men for that matter.  However, they’ve worked for him for years, on all those other people.  I’ve heard it all before, and they never impressed then...”

 “There is a difference with it now.  I actually mean it for you, you sexy beguiling temptress.  Q, I will have you know that I’ve had to scare away several gentlemen and one not so gentle man away from her at the pool and the hotel bar during any short time I leave her alone.”

 Tanner comes back on comms.

  _Q said you stopped your...discussion over dinner.  What is going on besides Olivia driving all the men wild and you to distraction Bond?_

 “Ha...ha...stop it!  All of you.  Bond exaggerates and he has had far more attention than I.”  M cannot stop chuckling.  I can’t help but stare at the way it make her chest heave and her eyes twinkle.

  _Olivia I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this but you are a stunning woman.  One who now, more than ever, glows in beauty and happiness.  I just can’t believe that it’s Bond that has brought you to this...this…of all..._

 “Tanner I’ve warned you before...stop flirting with my girl.”

 The mark leaves the bar suddenly and walks out to the street.  “Q, Tanner he’s on the move.  He’s waiting for the valet.  Alright, he’s headed west in his black Porsche with the girl.”

  _I will notify 003 and let you go now Bond.  I would say have a nice evening but I’m already sure you will._

 “I will make sure of it, or die tryin Q...she really is quite insatiable.”  I stand and toss some bills on the table and drink the last of my beer.  I reach for her hand, to see her eyes flash at me in both anger and amusement.

 “Watch what you say over comms Bond!”

 “What...you eat more than I thought a woman of your size could, even spicy hot!”  

 I cannot contain the grin that spreads across my face as I hear Tanner and Q klick off their connection.  I remove the earbud as does M.  I put mine in my jacket pocket as she placed hers in her bag.  We will trust 003 to do his job and enjoy the rest of our evening working off that dinner.

 I wrap my arm around her as we walk down the street back to the hotel.  The sudden sound of a great deal of emergency vehicles, pierces the warm evening air.  003 has accomplished his job.  M stops walking to look at her mobile.  She meets my eyes and gives me a small serious nod.  We walk in silence lost in our own thoughts.  It isn’t that our desire has decreased, it’s merely temporarily replaced by the seriousness of what’s happened.  

 The two of us have been watching the mark for three days.  I searched his room and managed to flirt with one of his mistresses to confirm for London that this was the man they wanted.  003 did the dirty work and he made sure the woman survived.  That was something I always had difficulty with.  However, in my defence, my missions were usually a lot more difficult.  This mark was rather average level.

 We enter the lobby and I see Mr. Johnston from Massachusetts, shooting daggers at me as he attempts to chat up two women in the lounge.  I had to pull his hand of M’s knee yesterday.  He thinks she hired me just to play with, as he asserted his own personal wealth and availability to her unwilling ears.  M was shocked but set him strait.  

 “Why don’t you go to the strip and pay for a young thing to spend time with...that is really why you’re here and there is no shortage of willing entertainment for you to have elsewhere.”  M snapped at him silencing his blubbering and bragging.  

 The key to seduction is to barely talk, and to listen intently to the woman.  Make her believe she’s the only one in the room.  This blow hard is an idiot.  One who couldn’t recognize her eye rolls and body language as that of a disinterested woman.  One who is far too intelligent and above his misogynistic arrogance.  Not to mention, claimed by me.

 I nod at the man as I pull M to the lifts.  

 “Are you sure you don’t want to go to the bar for a drink?”

 “I want you in our room.  Not anywhere in public where another Mr. Johnston can try to steal you away from me.”

 M laughs as I hit our floor and the doors close leaving us in relative privacy. There are always cameras within, but I don’t care.  

 I lean down and kiss her hard.  M grips the front of my jacket holding herself up to my lips.  I continue and push her up against the left side of the mirrored lift, pressing my body up against hers.  I am rewarded with a sexy moan as she kisses me back just as ardently.

 She then pushes me back against the back wall with a shocking amount of strength.  M is nothing if not surprising at every turn.

 My hand travels up to touch the bare skin of her back, which is exposed by the deep V of the dress that she’s wearing, but not for much longer.  This dress dips low enough to make men envious of me regardless of any prejudicial attitudes towards the age difference.

 The door opens and the cool air conditioned air of the corridor hits us.  M involuntarily shivers at our sudden lack of contact.

 We walk briskly down the corridor and I open the door for her to pass me into the room.  She tosses her bag on the table and kicks off her heels as she turns to me and is about to say something but my lips silence whatever she was about to say.  I continue what we began in the lift as I move her gradually towards the bedroom.  

 M pushes the jacket off my shoulders and her hands quickly go to my belt.  I’m too busy kissing her but I smile against her lips at her impatience.  One delightful thing I’ve learned in becoming Olivia’s lover, is that she goes from zero to sixty faster than the DB10 did, before I dumped it in the Tiber.  

 This sort of love is still scary and new to me.  It’s so different from what I thought love was.  Vesper and Madeleine matched my desire, my passion and I did love them...but not like this...this is too much to describe in thought or words.

 Clothing drops away; as zippers fall and hands move over shoulders, releasing garments from ivory skin, still lovely soft and delectable.  I spend time adoring her shoulders, neck and face with my lips, before moving towards her breasts.  Her moans and gasps make my heart flutter and passion rise.

 We make love as I promised her earlier, but with the comms off.  Although, I joke with her about letting them listen in to torture Tanner; who I’m positive has a crush on her, I would never share M with anyone that way, intentionally.  

 She is the only one I’ve ever truly needed and wanted in my life since the day I met her.  Considering the challenges we’ve met and the deaths we’ve managed to defeat, it’s amazing that I found her again and convinced her of feelings I’d buried for so long.

 For the first time in my life, I like where I am and I don’t feel like I’m lost and looking for something or someone to heal me. M took care of all that by agreeing to love me as much as I love her.

 

The end

Thank you for reading.   :)


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